Normal Mothers
by Richard Banker
Summary: Parents meet new friends when their children attend dancing classes. Cassie/Roisin, Helen/Nikki.
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: All the characters used within this story are the property of Shed Productions. I am using them solely to explore my creative ability.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This fic is an idea I dreamed up that I thought I'd kick off with a Roisin character (nervous look over his shoulder at Joanna), no idea

who'll enter the picture and no idea of where it is going

Normal Mothers

By

Richard

Part One

Roisin was fit to drop at the end of her children's birthday party. The tables were piled up with half eaten jellies, half drunk glasses of coke, plates

piled up to the ceiling and her ears full of happy squealing children who had had a good time. In these innocent years, that meant they'd played every

noisy game they could think of and had worn themselves out. She had thrown herself into the party as was her natural exuberant style in half way going

back to her own childhood, except that she had to have four pairs of eyes in her head in spotting the overexcited child that had gone into hysterics and

she had nipped in to comfort the child and settled her down in a quiet bedroom. Her own two daughters, Siobhan and Mary, had smiles over their faces and

were happy in the moment of such a good party that they knew their mum was so good at organising.

"Oh yes, you're Mary's mum", one of the other mothers came to the door to fetch their exhausted child.

"Can't I please please please stay a bit longer with Siobhan and Mary," wheedled the happy and exhausted child. "I'm having such a good time with them"

Smiling yet another happy but exhausted child had her coat put on her and led to the car, still clutching a 'lucky bag' and a balloon and a telltale thumb

stuck in her mouth to flake out exhausted in the back seat within minutes. It had got to the point where, take away the adrenaline, nature took its course.

"Thanks for such a great party, mum. We love you" and they both flung their arms round her shoulders as she crouched to meet them. "but why couldn't dad

come and join in."

"Never mind about that, my babies." Roisin said kissing Mary on her forehead. "Aiden had an important job to go out on" Roisin covered up for Aiden. She

led the daughters to the sitting room where they were curled up on the settee, tired out and watching cartoons and going very quiet.

Roisin was more physically tired than she knew she could be but in despair, looked at the piles of washing up looking accusingly at her and prodding her

overactive guilt complex to wash them up and try and tidy things up a bit. Besides, Aiden was due home in an hour's time and she knew he couldn't stand

an untidy house, children's party or otherwise.

All the bones in her body protested at the last demand placed on her but she went into automatic pilot clearing things up as best she could before she tottered

through and slumped in front of the television. She didn't mind the cartoons to take her mind off things. She had worked herself up for the party for the

last few weeks wanting so much for it to go well. Right at the very last minute, Aiden had dropped it on her that he had been asked by his workmates to

go to the football match and couldn't make the party which threw her into a total tizzy. Still with the sort of drive that made her a good mum and held

down a job, the show must go on.

The lights were on low and pretty soon, Roisin's eyelids were drooping down and a pleasant warm feeling overtook her and she was curled up on the settee

next to her children.

The peace and calm of the sleeping dreaming house was rudely shattered by the loudly knocking front door and a swaying Aiden, with football scarf round

his neck yelling that 'his' team had won and wasn't it wonderful.

"Aiden," said Roisin in disapproval, her voice pitched well down, "you can't wake the children, especially on their birthday when they've been missing you."

Aiden tried to focus his eyes on the domestic scene, having been pitched from another world of singing along with his football mates on the train back from

London and swigging back the cans of lager when nothing existed outside the football match which seemed all important. His mind had a cloudy feeling of

self righteousness that his right to go out and have a drink with the lads on such an important football match cut across everything and, besides, he'd

never felt comfortable with birthday parties and Roisin was so good at things like that. Fortunately for all concerned, the combined effect of the days

drinking finally kicked in and he wobbled sideways holding onto the staircase and gradually slid down to slump on the floor.

"Come on to bed, my babies." whispered Roisin. "I'll read you a story in bed."

"but what about dad." Mary piped up, being worried in case dad should come to any harm. "Is he ill?"

"No Mary. He's just been enjoying himself too much. I'll look after him when you're asleep. Don't make too much noise as he likes a bit of peace and quiet

the next day. let's all tiptoe upstairs."

And very lightfootedly, even Mary who was known to clomp around, the rest of the house tiptoed round the aftermath of Aiden's football match. Even at that

young age they somehow knew what to do.

Roisin read their favourite story Cinderella from the dog eared storybook in her lilting Irish accent that was their comforter last thing at night. They

clamoured for mum to please, please, please read them another page with their most winning smiles which Roisin could not resist and she agreed just this

one night to read the extra page but not another night while Siobhan and Mary smiled to themselves that they had got another ten minutes longer. Towards

the end Roisin's eyes were drooping and she seemed to speak sometimes as if in a dream till she got to the bottom of the page,

"Come on, my babies, time for sleep" and she tucked them into bed, turned the light off and tiptoed out of the room.

She was looking at Aiden's body, slumped at the bottom of the stairs wondering why Cinderella had all the luck. She saw that he was comfortably crashed

out from the drink so she tiptoed to bed quietly.

The next day, Aiden was in his 'not talking 'mood which was so noticeable from his booming Irish voice that was such an audible presence of home life. Roisin's

strong Irish accent matched his and in fact what drew them together was their similarity in the first place that way. More recently, Aiden had taken to

going moody and quiet if something didn't please him. Roisin was reduced to asking Aiden if there was something wrong and she had to drag it out of him.

There was a more understandable element of a quiet Aiden that he was hungover and wanted peace and quiet.

"Aiden love" called out Roisin's carrying voice" I'm taking the children to dance class."

Roisin could just hear Aiden's mumbled response so she bustled the children into her little Ford car making sure that they had all their dance clothes packed

into their little pink cases. They were a matter of pride to the little girls who had a desire to be on the stage. Siobhan was the bossy one, getting Mary

reluctantly out of her bed on a Sunday morning switching off the children's TV and putting the tinkling taped music onto a little cassette player in the

kitchen. Mary always trailed along after her big sister in a lot of things but she was happy to follow her sister's lead and looked so cute trying to keep

up with her more energetic sister.

"Can we go to McDonalds this week after the dancing class. Please." And both switched on their winning smiles that Roisin always fell hook line and sinker

for.

Roisin ushered the two excited children into the bedlam of the cramped changing room and there was a sudden hush when they had all poured through the double

swing doors and Roisin could relax a bit. She felt herself lucky to have enrolled them in the class and was very impressed with the dance teacher, a small

blond haired woman called Cassie Tyler who made up for her lack of size in the extrovert energy she radiated energy. She made Roisin feel that she was

fluttery and nervous in comparison but the younger woman smiled kindly on her to reassure her.

There was an interval where all Roisin's drive to keep on going to keep ahead of her demands could 'let go' Aiden was fond of telling her how hard he worked

to provide for the family, conveniently forgetting her daytime paid part time job and unpaid "chief cook and bottle washer" job the rest of her time. She

adored trailing after her two lively daughters and less so enthusiastically in clearing up for Aiden but Saturday morning was her time of peace. She trailed

after the other mothers to the old fashioned club across the road of the dance school.

Roisin was a bit shy amongst the gaggle of mothers whose topic of conversation was about how brilliant their child was though she could understand how focussed

each mother was on their offspring.

"Of course my granddaughter Emma was just made to be a dancer, It's in the blood you see" bragged the oldest woman there, a Mrs Hollamby whose stock in

trade was to talk longer and louder than the others. Roisin instantly felt that there was no future in being a deaf mute to nod her head occasionally and

the feelings felt all wrong. There was no need to act this way in having to impress all the time unless she is having to cover up.

"Morning Roisin," the pleasant Scottish tone of Helen Stewart broke into her thoughts and banished her shyness. Along with her a few paces back was her

friend Nikki Wade who was keeping her company who in her quieter way, also welcomed Roisin and made up their little crowd amongst the noisier clumps of

mothers talking away. They found a corner with tables and chairs near a window that overlooked the front door of the dance studio.

"Guess you sometimes get a bit fed up of other mothers going on about their children, sometimes." smiled Nikki.

"It's only natural that your own child is the most gifted in the universe, isn't it right, Helen." Roisin's words received a nod in agreement at this one,

Helen having seen off her own excited child, Lauren into the studio and whom she could imagine going through the energetic routine set for her.

"I used to go to ballet school when I was little, not like you, Nikki, going off to camp as a girl guide." Helen finished jokingly.

"Well, with all the natural grace anyone can see in me, I happened to decide that getting dolled up in leotards and ballet shoes wasn't my flavour," smiled

Nikki, "not that my mother didn't fight it tooth and nail. All that 'All your school friends are going to ballet school' type of argument didn't make it

with me. But I don't mind being a 'ballet dancer's roadie' for you, Helen"

Roisin's memories were stirred by this to recall the years she had put into dancing and picking up singing along the way which went fine till she met Aiden

and had to get married. Roisin blushed at that point remembering her parent's disapproval and the hastily arranged marriage. Appearances triumphed with

the photo album of her in her white wedding dress and a rather slimmer Aiden crammed into grey top hat and tails. From then on, it was a change of pace

to bringing up children till she landed her present job.

The idle chit chat helped soothe the time by and Roisin was listening to the cross banter between Nikki and Helen which wavered into a dream till she jerked

awake when she was in danger of falling off her chair.

"You look tired Roisin," Nikki asked concerned. "I'll get you a coffee from behind the bar. We've just got time till the class is over."

Roisin reflected that it was rare that anyone offered to help her with anything at home, rather the other way round.

Roisin drank the coffee gratefully conscious that she had to mentally get back into gear for the rest of the day's grind. She was also conscious that it

was only weekends that she had the company she needed and that she was going to be propelled back to family life. This was, to quote Aiden, that they "kept

themselves to themselves" which was Aiden's idea but thoughts creeping into her mind was that this was not her idea.

"Time to go" Helen said and they made their way back to the dance studio when the enthusiastic but tired children poured out clamouring for their mothers.

"Miss Tyler said I'm the best dancer in the class" Siobhan bounced over to Roisin.

"That's not fair, what about me" piped up her little sister whom Siobhan generously replied that she was nearly the best only because she was younger.

Roisin helped them into their coats and out of their ballet shoes like the other mothers who were doing the same in the confined space.

"Could you give us a bit of space," protested Helen to Mrs Hollamby was complaining noisily about everyone getting in her way before barging her way out

through the double doors past a not too pleased Nikki.

When the crowd had thinned out, Cassie made her way over to Roisin.

"Your children told me that you were a famous dancer once."

Roisin protested that her children had made more of that than there was. It was something that she had done before she had got married. Cassie told her

that a talent worked at when you are young doesn't get forgotten that easily. She looked at Roisin with a new respect suspecting that her children weren't

that far wide of the mark.

"It must go in your family, Mrs Connor. Your two take to dancing like a duck to water"

Roisin smiled a brilliant smile. Of course the compliment to her children meant the world to her but Cassie's words came at a time when her self worth could

do with a boost which otherwise really only came from herself only. Thanking Cassie profusely, she said that now she came to think of it, dancing was something

that meant the world to her once.

".........meant the world to her at one time in the past but now its over, dead or something that could mean something to her again if the drive were rekindled........"

The question hung in the air in Roisin's mind and the question popped its way into the back of Cassie's mind. This was something different from the run

of the mill mother who wanted her child taught dance because it was the expected thing and she had many mothers to clamour for her time.

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Aiden staggered out of bed with a particularly thick head after the night before and made himself a cup of coffee. The strong sunlight made his eyes water

but he went out into the front garden and took in the sunny summers day. Opposite, he could see the Di Barker's car parked outside her house. Fairly soon,

he saw the side door open and Di carefully manoeuvred her mother out in a wheelchair. Her mother had a blanket over her knees and an old fashioned hat

on her head. Di waved and smiled at Aiden and returned to carefully inching her mother into the passenger seat, folding up the wheelchair to go in the

boot and set off for the regular as clockwork weekly journey to the supermarket.

Aiden smiled approvingly that that was the way a mother and daughter should be. She always had a smile on her face and always came up smiling in her duty

to her mother. So self sacrificing as she was still fairly young but, instead of putting her mother in a nursing home and selfishly going out on the town

every night, chose to dedicate her life to her mother. Would that all families were that way. He was taught by his family in the traditional virtues which

you did not deviate from by one millimetre. Go off the beaten track and God would smite you down.

He reflected on Roisin and thought that despite the momentary lapse when he was young and ardent that caused them to have a "shotgun marriage" they had

a good traditional family with good traditional virtues. Of course what he would have wanted was a son that he could take to football matches but that

was denied him when Mary came along the scene with yet another daughter and no one to hand on the Connor name to. He couldn't bring himself to say how

disappointed he was.

He thought of Roisin and that she seemed a bit distant these days and restless. He wasn't really happy at her working part time though these days he reluctantly

had to agree you couldn't really manage on a single wage like his father had when he was growing up. He was worried that Roisin might come into contact

with people that would give her strange ideas and she would go off in some mad direction. At least he had his football to keep him interested outside work.

Roisin's been a long time at the dance class. He started feeling uncomfortable........

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Saturday and Sunday afternoons at the Connor's house were pretty similar. Aiden had the television on watching "Match of the day" which left Roisin in the

kitchen cooking a traditional family dinner or catching up with the housework in between running after Siobhan and Mary's latest game when they switched

from being intent on their colouring books. The latest thing was when Siobhan bossed the ever patient Mary into showing off the latest dance steps for

Mummy.

"Watch this, children, this is what I used to do when I was young" Roisin said, her enthusiasm fired and, having fairly hard shoes dusted off a fragment

of a tap dancing routine on the kitchen tiles that came out of her past without thinking.

"Roisin, you're making a noise right in the final five minutes of extra time." complained Aiden from round the corner.

"Does Daddy have to spoil things" complained Siobhan.

Roisin went into automatic excuse mode for Aiden being the breadwinner etc. and being a good provider when she started to have a double take on this and

that her own words weren't ringing true to herself let alone anyone else. It didn't occur yet that perhaps she should say anything back for her motto was

'anything to keep the peace'.

Dinner at the table was the moment when Roisin's anxiety level shot up as she buzzed backward and forth with plates, knives and forks and serving the dinner

nice and hot out of the oven, making sure that the dinner was up to the exacting standard set by Aiden, whose 'mother knew how to cook'. And all this was

for the children's good as well. Aiden made sure everyone sat at the table till dinner was finished despite the fact that Mary especially was shuffling

with impatience to 'get down from the table'. The children need discipline and rules to live by which Roisin half agreed with.

The children got their chance to watch their choice of TV later on as long as it was not too loud while Aiden dug his nose into the Daily Mail. After Roisin

had put the children to bed with a bedtime story and once it was quiet, was when Aiden and Roisin made love with half an ear listening out in case one

or both the children woke up with a "mummy, can you do this". Such was life from when Roisin had got married, anything before that being a distant ghostly

memory.

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In another house, Helen and Nikki were chatting quietly before settling off to sleep. Lauren had finally tired herself out with some writing idea she had

in mind that she had to do. She inherited Helen's stubbornness in finishing off a job she'd started. At the back of their minds they foresaw with dread

a real battle of wills with a teenage Lauren.

"I really feel sorry for Roisin," Nikki said quietly. "You can see that she's run off her feet all week and what should be a place you can put your feet

up is somewhere to conk out asleep in the corner. I think she's married with the ring on her finger but she'll talk about anything under the sun than home.

It's as if the class and us are her escape. You wonder how things are like at home."

"I can't see there's anything we can do till she comes to us. You know that one, Nikki. Anyway, Lauren thank God right now sleeps like a log, that's one

good thing."

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Roisin was swept into the next week on her endless merry go round with her daytime typing job at the local secondary school which she could handle more

easily after the ups and downs of her 'other' job. The bastard of a headmaster Mr Fenner had finally realised that Babs, the long suffering typist really

needed help with all the increasing paperwork that had come the schools way and Mark Waddle the young new Chairman of the School of Governors had pinned

Mr Fenner down as effectively as a butterfly in a butterfly collection. If all the notices came out with the action to be done and dusted three days before

the paperwork was issued for teachers and everyone alike, then Me Fenner ought to get off his backside, dig deep into the school budget and get another

typist. Enter Roisin.

When she had first started, Babs looked over the top of her specs with a long suffering expression at Roisin.

"Don't even begin to ask why Fenner wants the work done the way he wants. He doesn't want a secretary but a couple of nursemaids."

"But what about what Mr Fenner told us to do" asked Roisin anxiously. "I don't want to get into trouble on my first day."

"Don't worry Roisin," smiled Babs. "Just forget about his instructions, Come over here and we'll sort the work out between us. It might sound unchristian

of me the way I talk about him but the more that incompetent idiot stays out of our way, the better we'll get along."

Babs went on to say that she was used to calling her bosses "Mr" but would only do it if he deserved her respect. She had strong Christian principles but

the one about swearing was beginning to crumble but 'thy shalt not bear false witness' was fine as every criticism she had of him was the truth and she

was brought up to tell the truth.

That way, they had now just about ploughed their way through all the file of letters to be done as the week went on. Instead of Roisin rattling through

her work as if her life depended on it, she was able to start to ease up.

As she went over to the kitchen to brew a pot of tea for herself and Babs, her mind floated to a problem that she had had in mind. Siobhan and Mary had

started to make friends with Lauren from the dance class and wanted Lauren to 'stopover' on Friday night and Roisin was nervous of asking Aiden about this

even though it fell to her to settle them down for the night. And this was right before the dance class the next day

This was starting to loom large in her mind that Babs politely pointed out that she was missing out a whole page of typing as her mind was so off the job

in hand.

"Is there anything bothering you," Babs asked but Roisin shook her head and, totally unconvincingly assured her with her mask of a smile that everything

was fine. Babs knew better but thought it best not to ask. She liked the Irishwoman who was very obliging and good company and appreciated that in the

past, there were bitter territorial wars that could make work the least of anyone's problems.

Roisin rushed out when the bell rang, thanking her good luck that she could zoom home from her secondary school and get back just before the familiar shapes

of Siobhan and Mary came pottering up the close where they lived. Siobhan and Mary had been keyed up with excitement for days thinking it was guaranteed

that Lauren would "sleepover" on Friday night when Roisin knew all too well that it wasn't.

"Mum, you've forgotten to put the dinner on" Siobhan's bossy tones cut through Roisin's mind, far away from what she was doing that 'automatic pilot' let

her down for once.

When Aiden came home from work in an average mood, Roisin was so worked up that she blurted it out to Aiden straightaway. Aiden fresh from work, just said

"no" automatically without really thinking what he was saying.

"Indeed they won't." Aiden's voice trumpeted round the front room. If he had had that flexibility, he could have backed away from the situation and either

changed his mind there and then or "bought time" to think over but that would have been a sign of weakness in his mind.

"But Aiden, the children" pleaded Roisin, really upset while Siobhan and Mary were rooted to the spot in shock.

Aiden then dragged out the line that he didn't know the parents and if they or Lauren were "suitable" which, to a cynical onlooker would have interpreted

a died in the wool Catholic, both parents and child but unfortunately there was none.

Siobhan and Mary started to cry their eyes out at this point and Roisin took them upstairs out of the way to their bedroom while Aiden stood irresolutely

where he was downstairs. The thought did not strike him that, as he had caused the upset by laying the law down, he ought to go upstairs and explain it,

or be able to talk about it and come out of the suit of armour called "stern parent" and face them as Aiden, that was too modern. Besides Roisin was good

at that sort of thing, better than he was, so he left her to it, tied into a decision she did not believe in.

"Aiden is a cruel man" she said for the first time in her life as the vow of silence was broken.

After she had settled them with great difficulty down for the night with a promise that she would 'make it up to them', Aiden saddled her with the job of

phoning Helen, Lauren's mum, that Siobhan and Mary had 'a family matter' that night but would 'sort something out some other day'. Roisin never forgave

Aiden for dumping on her like that.

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"What do you make of that, Nikki," Helen asked Nikki quizzically.

"That must be the biggest pile of bollocks I've ever heard, Helen....... You didn't hear that Lauren did you." Nikki diverted her remark to a grinning Lauren

whom Nikki had overlooked.

"So parents never swear do they, Nikki" taunted Lauren. "I've not heard that one before, my friends would that one really cool"

"All right, all right," Nikki said, "So we are the Queens of Cool for one day. You really shouldn't ........" and Nikki tailed off, her innate sense of

honesty choking off the remark about not swearing. "You've heard the rest of the bad news, Lauren." she said more seriously ruffling the child's hair.

"I'm really sorry but this one's out of our hands. I don't understand why any more than you do. No promises but Helen and I'll get to the bottom of this

one, I don't know how else to make up for this one but we'll try. We know you're really disappointed about the sleepover and so are we for you." she said

to the disappointed child. Nikki's plain 'look you straight in the eyes' manner told Lauren that Nikki was telling her the unvarnished truth as it was

so she swallowed the bad news bravely.

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There were two contrasting households on Saturday morning. Nikki and Helen got a rather down in the mouth Lauren for ballet class. They wanted to grab the

chance to talk to Roisin in the usual break in the dance class but a chill feeling was coming over Nikki that perhaps Roisin was avoiding them and that

the nature of her relationship with Helen, and unconventional family, had come 'out'. For herself, she'd outface anyone, anytime but it upset her if Lauren

would begin to start to go through the sort of subtle ostracism that she'd gone through when she was young. Helen had not had that direct experience herself

but her imagination was tending that way. No way would anyone diminish their child in their eyes or would anyone else do it for her. They both had fierce

loyalties for each other and on top, a protective quality for Lauren that knew no limits. These secret fears, they bottled down.

"Come on, Lauren, we'll be late" Helen said as lightly as she could.

The Connor household was a totally different scene which the tense atmosphere could be felt.

"Children these days expect everything, Roisin." Aiden tried to justify himself." You can't let them rule the house. When I was growing up.........." and

at this point Roisin mentally disconnected herself from the words which washed over her.

Roisin was terrified that Siobhan and Mary wouldn't want to go to the dance class and Aiden would get at her for not being able to 'make them go' even though

he took no part himself. with a feeling that she was walking on egg shells, she drove off to dance class away from the house. Her heart wasn't in it as

it normally was but she put what there was of her into it.

In a break, Lauren saw how embarrassed Siobhan and Mary were and wouldn't look them in the eye. They were outside on the grass and Lauren's friendly manner

gave Siobhan the courage to tell Lauren the truth. She told Lauren how she felt sometimes that she had to be this different average schoolgirl at school

and someone else at home with the friction between Aiden and Roisin which had been getting worse. Lauren had grown up known nothing else but she was starting

to be aware how singular her situation was with Helen and Nikki.

"I've got a mum and a dad who don't love each other. You're lucky with two mummies." said Siobhan and Lauren realised, of course she was aware of it but

it was nice that an outsider told her.

"Never mind, your mummy is lovely. She's got a smile that's friends with everyone."

Siobhan took courage with both hands and explained why the 'sleepover' had fallen through and Lauren's Helen type logic explained in one flash the way Roisin

had behaved.

Cassie was her usual bustling self. Having a classful of lively girls practising their dance steps, sometimes at the wrong time demanded all her concentration.

Normally, she was only able to give parents a fraction of her time with her larger than life personality, in contrast to someone so small. Nevertheless,

she was struck with such a contrast in Roisin's normal vivacious manner to the visibly miserable and dejected person who dragged herself through the door

that her heart went out to her. This was not Roisin's style. Christ, back to the dance class....

Roisin had shot out of the dance studio when she had dropped the children off and unlike her, headed into the centre of town round the shops. She didn't

know which way she was going and kept being jostled by the relentless Saturday morning shoppers and passing by the many clothes shops which she might have

looked at another day if she was feeling any better. It got to her the story she had made up to Helen about why her daughter who had never done her any

harm, couldn't stay over. She felt for the girl and her own two daughters when her instinct would be to say yes, and that she would have looked after them

just fine. Tears rolled down her cheeks at the thought.

When she focussed her eyes on the surroundings, right in front was the dance supplies shops with the display of colourful of theatrical costumes of every

size and fancy and seemed ready for the actors to take shape inside the outfits and recall her past dancing experience when she was carefree and happy.

She knew she could not deny her past this way as she had tried to do. it seemed an eternity that she stood inside the old fashioned shop with assistants

trying to catch her eye. Suddenly, she saw the time and realised she had to race back through the unhelpful crowds.

"Now we've decided that me, Lauren and Mary want to drag you old people round the shops or somewhere to eat. You were all horrible at not letting Lauren

stay over so you've got some making up to do." Siobhan bounced up to Nikki and Helen as they came out of the club a bit late and the children were all

half way through changing.

Nikki had real problems in stopping a huge grin spreading all over her face when she realised that the children had taken matters into their own hands.

Lauren inherited some of Helen's bossiness but Siobhan was something else but this fitted her scheme of things exactly.

"You don't mind us....." started Helen nervously but Lauren cut in on this backing up Siobhan.

"Want to come with us, Roisin?" Helen asked with no trace of pretence.

Roisin shook her head gratefully but assured them it wasn't for the want of willingness but that she was really upset and drained. She wanted a sit down

and she couldn't keep up with the children though she thought Helen and Nikki would be given a run for it.

Cassie had overheard the conversation and she suggested Roisin stopped with her as her lessons had finished. With her children in someone else's good hands

for a change, something in Roisin told her that the dance hall with Cassie was the best place for her to be right now.

Cassie was tired after a few hours of extrovert energy leading her dance class but not enough to not notice the distress for anyone to see on Roisin's face.

"What's happened, Mrs Connor, you looked terrible." Cassie said with real concern on her face, dragging a wooden school type chair from the side. "You're

always so happy when you come here, I've noticed that from when you started here"

The kind words from Cassie made her cry in earnest and Cassie instinctively put an arm round her shoulder till the tears subsided a bit. It really upset

her that Roisin's normal vivacity was so driven out of her. Roisin for her part was more aware of her out of the background and she never knew how much

she needed to be comforted, so used she was to doing the comforting and propping up. Her self consciousness was blown away and crying on Cassie's shoulder

seemed the right thing to do. In bits and pieces, she told her story and Cassie made the instantaneous connection that it was her overworked shoulders

that held up the family.

"It's a bloody shame as you've got two lovely daughters. I've got to be fair but they're special-just like you"

Roisin blushed at the unexpected remark and a bit of her started to talk about Siobhan and Mary, how much they meant to her when Cassie cut in .

"But what about yourself, you never talk about yourself, you should do."

Roisin swallowed a lump in her throat seeing those blue eyes of Cassie looking intently at her. It was like dragging a tooth out to finally pull out of

her unspoken hopes and dreams, and not just her dancing.

"After this," Cassie said with a slight smile on her face, "I can't keep calling you Mrs Connor. Not very often that I end up hugging some parent."

"I'm Roisin," she said blushing slightly at the way Cassie put it though, truth to herself, she did not know why she was blushing. Cassie struggled a bit

to understand how her name as spelt translated into "Rosheen" and Roisin said that she had had a lifetime doing the translation for English people. While

chatting, Roisin noticed the absence of a ring on her finger and said as a matter of fact that she hadn't got a husband or a partner.

"I'm not the marrying sort." Cassie said with a broad smile on her face." and still less so if your Aiden is anything to go by."

A bit of Roisin thought that 'your' attached to 'Aiden' didn't quite go and, after talking to Cassie, whose she really was right now, apart from her children.

Presently, Cassie asked her about her own dancing that they had talked about last week and Roisin spoke self deprecatingly that she was very rusty and it

was a long time ago. Nonsense, dared Cassie, you'll be stiff to begin with but you'll pick it up again, just try for me.

Put that way, Roisin took off her coat and shoes and tried out some ballet moves that came right out of her unconscious and, right there with it, the desire

to be on stage again and that she was made for it. Cassie's eyes opened wide to see the grace of her movements that expressed more than she ever thought

with hardly a wobble.

"You're really great, Roisin. far better than even your children said." Cassie said, involuntarily clapping her hands.

The applause from Cassie gave Roisin an indescribable feeling of warmth and gratitude to the woman who in a short time, gave more to her than Aiden had

in years and feeling good about herself was like a glass of champagne going straight to her head. It was even enough for Roisin to ask Cassie to do a turn

and the practised moves of the shape in green leotard and black leggings didn't make her feel disgraced.

Both of them were oblivious to the sounds of returning children and Helen and Nikki who quietly sneaked in. Cassie was able to grab Roisin's phone number,

works and home, that they 'must do something more and that Cassie had something on her mind she wanted to talk about to her.'

While Roisin had switched back like lightning into 'parent mode', she gave an emphatic yes, she couldn't let this one go and make the same mistake twice.

That and the look in Roisin's eyes reassured Cassie that she would hear, not that she was sure what would come of it but that it was something. The planet

was about to move out of orbit.

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Cassie was slumped in an armchair on a lazy Sunday afternoon. This was her time of rest when she was reflecting over her life over a glass of wine. One

side of her was the well spoken dance teacher adept at dealing with parents and children alike and her natural bossiness given free and fair rein by the

need to organise her dance class. Hidden from that was the 'out' lesbian that she had been when she became a teenager, the side that she and her sister

and parents were on the "opposite side" of the approval fence from. From being the elder, brighter more attractive daughter that couldn't do wrong, her

sister steadily disapproved of her and only met in those "lets pretend to be happy families" scenes that her parents still seemed obliged to stage at intervals.

Only thing was, Cassie wasn't in charge of the script.

She'd been on her own for some time and for a time, she pretended that her work could fill the gap, until yesterday.

It was at that point that Roisin who used to be Mrs Connor came into her mind. She had always seen her as if a bit out of focus, in the background like

all the parents, pleasant and less than pleasant that she smiled to, said a quick hello to and dealt with all their queries before starting the next class.

Some were frustrated dancers themselves wanting to fulfil themselves through their children. By total accident, she found out that Roisin was the real

thing. She hadn't danced in years but her practised eye told her straight off that she had a rare talent. It wasn't just her eye that was telling her that

with her attraction for older women that she'd always had, she wanted Roisin to come into her life in more ways than one. When she thought of the sudden

smile that lit up her face and the soft lilting tone of her Irish accent, she saw Roisin (only the other day it was Mrs Connor) in a new way. Besides that,

she couldn't help remembering when she was comforting her. What seemed the impulsive natural thing to do seemed all too natural. And the way she blushed

at her.

Trouble was, her husband. No matter how badly treated she is, that doesn't mean she'll turn to another woman, will it?

She helped herself to another stiff drink to soothe the strains of a busy week.

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At the Connor's household, Siobhan knew well enough not to mention going round town with Lauren, Nikki and Helen. Helen and Nikki took it in turns to hold

hands with them and naturally treated them the same as Lauren. Mum was lovely but Siobhan didn't have to watch each word she said like she did round the

house and look after Mary who wasn't yet old enough to know. They were both such friendly relaxed people (even if they were old) that they could say as

they liked. Now it was back home, creep upstairs and do last minute homework. Funny thing was that when Siobhan went to speak to mum, it was as if she

was half listening to something in her head as well as her.

"Wake up mum, you haven't heard a single word I've said." she complained.

"I'm sorry, my baby." Roisin smiled, "I was just thinking of some happy thoughts"

Siobhan let it go. At least mum had something to smile at which was a change.

Aiden was fairly pleased with himself. He had put his foot down last night and the children had accepted it even though Roisin had got all emotional about

it. He had trouble in understanding what she was on about these days. She wasn't the woman he'd married and taken away from that theatrical life she'd

been leading. She had known she ought to settle down, have children and bring them up for him. The children had accepted his discipline last night. One

day, they'll thank him for setting standards in this modern treacherous world. It takes the man as master of the house to keep things in order. Ah well,

up for another week's work, thank the Lord for it.

Roisin was equally pleased with herself. She'd had the feeling that no matter how deep she'd buried her dreams, they were coming to the surface again .

She'd been passionate that her daughters would learn to dance and experience the pleasures that she'd once had but that she would also do it for herself.

She couldn't believe that the dance teacher, call her Cassie had unlocked that dream for herself too. Not only that but in that brief period, there were

feelings she couldn't put a name too and that having her attention on her own suddenly meant a lot. She couldn't think clearer than that but she thought

she should trust to it. She was so grateful that somehow she hadn't blown a nice friendship with Nikki and Helen. Somehow her children had unravelled a

tangled ball of guilt and embarrassment that only the other day, she had been made so miserable by. She loved her children for that but she felt more distanced

from Aiden forever. Both of them seemed happy at night time but what made them happy was poles apart from each other.

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"You seem to have had a good weekend from the looks of things" Babs said with a slight smile as she brewed up tea for the two of them.

"Oh yes, it's like I'm finding myself again." Roisin said with a smile.

"I hate to say, Roisin," Babs replied looking over her glasses at her" But you've lost a page of Fenner's academic mission statement. Between you and me,

a page added on or left out won't make any more or less sense but it will only give him ammunition against us. Even if the parents won't suffer as they

won't have a clue what this all says.", Babs finished with a smile to soften the gentle criticism.

Roisin offered profuse apologies wondering if she ought to explain things to her but she couldn't put it into words what it was. Babs only smiled forgivingly,

sensing that Roisin was under pressure from the moment she started and if she had found some happiness in her life, who was she to put the dampers on things?

She was too tactful to ask questions, thinking that Roisin would explain in her own good time.

Three hours later on Roisin suddenly emerged from a period of silence to tell Babs that she was going to get back into dancing, that she had suddenly discovered

that she had missed this for a number of years without knowing it and that this was what she wanted to do with her life.

"But how does your husband feel about this all." Babs tactfully asked,

"Aiden doesn't know this. There's a lot that Aiden doesn't know." And this statement was left to hang in mid air.

Babs thought there was more than met the eye here but whatever there was would come out sooner or later.

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Cassie had figured out Monday evening that what was the problem was that she was overstretched in being able to run all the classes. She had some assistants

to help but the latest had got her final certificates and had gone off to dancing school leaving a vacancy which she'd tried to plug herself. Result, she

was skimping the business side and she was beginning to make mistakes, she was run off her feet and come Sunday afternoon, she was knackered. What was

at the back of her mind was Roisin. A bit of her was asking is this just a straight professional matter and the reply to that was, hell no. This was not

the way she was starting to feel but it would put her and Roisin closer together. Would Roisin be interested in this one? Only way she would find out would

be to ring up. Leafing through the phone book found the one "A Connor". Now all it took was one phone call but who would answer the phone? At that point,

Cassie got nervous. After the second or third attempt, she pressed the buttons, crossed fingers and prayed the right person would answer.

"Is that Miss Tyler" Cassie heard at the other end-that meant Aiden was around, shit. "I'd be very interested in what you said and I'll think it over and

we'll have a talk about it at the next class".

Roisin at the other end was very jumpy in Cassie appearing from out of the blue on the phone and hoped she sounded like she was taking a business call.

With part regret, part relief, she wasn't on the phone very long and raced back to the kitchen to finish off the ironing while the football match played

on from the sitting room. Fortunately, Aiden was absorbed with this and didn't overhear, any other programme and he'd be asking questions. Mer mind started

to think lightning speed how she could get time after the dance class to talk over with Cassie which in one flash of thinking, she wanted.

Cassie was a bit peeved at reverting to the "Miss Tyler" but the other part of her reasoned why Roisin reacted the way she did. Bit like when she lived

at home when she had a caller she didn't want her parents to hear. anyway, roll on next Sunday.

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"What's wrong, sis." Mary peeked under her fringe at Siobhan. "Mummy and daddy aren't happy these days and sometimes I feel it's my fault. I would love

daddy if he noticed me more, sometimes I feel it's my fault." and tears started to roll down Mary's face.

They were upstairs in their bedroom and Siobhan went to comfort Mary. She was a tiny little thing that Siobhan was always protective of. If she was in the

playground and one or two of the nastier girls in the playground started to pick on her, Siobhan made straight for them and the bullies backed off straight

away. Siobhan seemed to have a tougher shell and had started to figure out the tensions that had been growing in their family. She wondered a bit how come

Lauren seemed to have two mums but no dad and though some of the girls giggled about situations like this, because Lauren was such a straight ahead girl

and a good friend, she accepted it. Besides Helen and Nikki had given them such a good time when they looked after her, it was like having two Roisins

and that couldn't be bad. Early on, Siobhan was starting to pick her own path of what she thought was right and what she thought was wrong. Aiden had spent

many hours offering his religious philosophising on a Sunday afternoon but it was wrapped in woolly words so much that it didn't make sense to her. She

could remember once last Saturday, Nikki physically brought herself down to her height and explained some things plainly and simply on her level so she

understood.

It hurt her that Mary was blaming herself for what was her own fault. She told her again and again that she was the best sister in the world and even if

daddy didn't love her, mummy did and so did she and she wasn't to worry. Siobhan comforted the little girl and watched over herself till she fell back

asleep, still clutching her favourite fluffy toy.

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Earlier in the evening, Helen and Nikki's house was at peace with itself. Lauren had a think to herself and decided to plonk herself down on Nikki's lap

after they had had dinner and settled down to watch the TV.

"Don't I get a look in tonight, Lauren" asked Helen in a mock disappointed fashion, raising her eyebrow.

Nikki was grinning to herself though in truth there was no question of favouritism. She had grown up with both of them, and that would give her a solid

anchor through life. They were watching TV but the programmes inevitably tended to go to the 'teenage soaps' that were universal among children.

The phone in the hall rang and Helen volunteered to get it. She was sometime on the phone and then when she came back with a slight smile on her face.

"How do you fancy another Saturday with us......" Lauren looked blank at this point"......and Siobhan and Mary" finished Helen and Lauren was off jumping

round the room with pleasure.

Helen popped back and said OK to a very nervous Roisin who had sneaked out to make the call asking if Helen and Nikki would take her children round town

for an hour while she had 'some business with Miss Tyler'.

"What do you make of this, Nikki? you don't suppose that our Roisin is falling for the very attractive dance teacher? A bit late in life to start but better

late than never" Helen asked Nikki in bed later on.

Nikki grinned impishly at this though she shook her head. Roisin was from a traditional Irish, traditional value family though her naturally affectionate

personality, especially where children were concerned softened the rigidities down and made her pleasant company.

"Don't suppose the club is exactly the place to ask Roisin next week, is it? You don't talk over that sort of thing amongst the Mrs Hollambys of this world,

you know playing matchmaker and making sure Roisin aims the Cupid's bow straight or is it the other way round." Nikki smiled to herself.

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Roisin put down the phone, her hand shaking with the feeling that she had jumped off the top board as it took her a lot of nerve to finally phone Helen

and Nikki up so that her children would be looked after while she talked to Cassie about what?? She didn't know what she was letting herself in for and

she was sure Aiden wouldn't agree to this one. She was heading for a confrontation with Aiden, she knew it and was scared. She composed herself with the

automatic smile and took Siobhan and Mary up to bed. More than any other thing, she wanted to be able to put up Lauren for the night and be able to decide

that. After all, she did all the work.

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One evening after work, Roisin made one last effort to tell Aiden how she felt and move him into the twentieth century let alone the twenty first. Siobhan

and Mary had been kept back after school for choir practice,

"When we were growing up in Ireland, Aiden, the world was a different place. You've got a rosy image in your mind of your mother polishing the front step,

slaving over the hearth and being the perfect housewife for your father. He was master of the house while she hung out the washing. It was simple for them

when it came to children. We were given orders and, at all costs, the house had to look perfect for when your father came home from work . Back then, the

man of the house wouldn't get involved with the children's problems, the wife was at home all day while the man was at work, breaking his back in the shipyards...."

"And wasn't that the way things should be, Roisin darling. The world had standards then, you knew where you were and things worked......." Aiden replied

passionately, sounding like a younger version of the Reverent Paisley, a comparison not lost on Roisin.

"But half the shipyards back home got closed, my brother tells me that one. You're living in a vision of the past where in Ireland things are changing....."

"But you can keep those standards in your head and the way you raise the children....."

"the way I raise the children and despite what you do to ruin things. You don't know how to play with the children......."

"They get good standards from me...."

"They get preached at, that's not raising children..."

"That was what my father, God rest his soul, did...."

"And that isn't enough these days. And I don't think it ever was enough, not with my father coming in stinking drunk and falling about and what were the

Ten Commandments going to mean like that.......?"

Time after time, Roisin tried different angles to explain things as simply as she could, yes there were standards but you had to live up to them. They'll

learn them from the way you behave and with gentleness and love that Mary is needing. Roisin tried to argue that he was already losing Siobhan who was

going her own way and she was the only person holding things in.

"There are good parents around. Take Helen from the dancing school and her daughter Lauren who the children like a lot."

"And I say we don't know them........"

"I know them, Aiden. And as I do all the running around, talking to them, I've decided that Lauren can stay the night this Friday as they're good friends

and because I say so."

The pitch of determination for the first time had Aiden at a disadvantage. What could he say?

After that Aiden more or less acted like a tortoise retreating into his shell. Nothing Roisin could say could reach him. Two plus two equals four from the

rules he had been taught. He never thought to question why not start with one or three or make up your own rules. Roisin when she was dancing in her earlier

life had started to break away from these rules but the years of her marriage had taken her back to square one, With Aiden around, she was half way to

repeating her own background but with her life changing irrevocably, everything was up for grabs.

When Siobhan and Mary came home, everything was nice smiles but the atmosphere told a different story. Roisin was longing for the weekend with Nikki's and

Helen's company and talking to Cassie about what????

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Babs was mildly curious as to Roisin's cheerfulness mixed with forgetfulness all week as it built up to the weekend but not that she had some compulsion

to be 'ahead of the news' like some people.

"Doing something nice this weekend," Babs asked gently.

"Just having a friend's daughter to stay Friday night." Roisin said hastily." She'd been doing me a kindness and I wanted to make it up to her." and Roisin

started talking hastily so that Babs was sure that there was more to it than that.

Roisin saw the hours plod their way along till she grabbed her handbag and virtually danced out of the office.

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Nikki and Helen were happy to have a night off but were a bit nervous about going to Roisin's house because of the huge void in their mind that comprised

Aiden, the shadowy phantom in the background.

"Hi Roisin, I've come out with a friend with me for a quiet drink at a local pub so I'll leave you, Lauren." Helen said, arranging her words into as conventional

a form as possible, for Roisin's sake." Kiss you good night and be good for Roisin. See you at dance class."

Lauren bustled along with her overnight bag straight upstairs with Siobhan and Mary where the three of them 'organised' things for the night keeping the

'old people' at bay, of course till Roisin came to read them a special goodnight story. Aiden kept himself out of the way. Helen and Nikki went uncertainly

out into the car feeling like an umbilical chord had been cut and totally not used to being able to just go out as they pleased. They had resisted the

natural urge to tell Lauren to phone up if there was a problem as they were sure Roisin would sort things out.

The next day, Roisin woke up excited that this would be a special Saturday and would take all the children to the dance class. Aiden next to her was in

a deep slumber so Roisin crept out and started getting things ready. She peeked into the children's bedroom but got dismissed with a 'mummy can't come

in here. We're having a private chat with Lauren and grown ups aren't allowed in here.' Thankful that Aiden didn't hear this one as her would get the wrong

end of the stick, Roisin popped out, smiling to herself that they were getting on so well.

Nikki and Helen noticed straight off that Lauren had enjoyed herself over at, would they call it Roisin's house last night? Once over at the club, they

noticed that Roisin was in high spirits but nervous at the same time but they knew better than to bring this out into the open. She also kept looking out

the window at the dance school for some unexplained reason. Anyway, they'd got three lively children that they thought they'd take to the pictures as a

night of 'staying up' at Roisin's plus dance class equals a 'chill out' entertainment for the afternoon.

"Time to go, you guys" Nikki called out as she checked her watch causing Roisin to spill her drink, "We'll meet you and the kids three hours later, back

at the dance class. that isn't too long is it." Nikki said repressing a smile.

Roisin assured Nikki that that would be fine almost too emphatically.

Roisin looked into the dance class studio, and as the last of the children trickled out of the room, they faded out of focus and sharply in focus, centre

stage was Cassie wearing her usual dance gear, showing her off at her best and with a slight smile on her face framed by her floppy short blond hair. With

a deep breath, Roisin stepped forward into her future.

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Roisin started very nervously apologising about being very formal and abrupt on the phone but Aiden was in the background and you know what it is.

"You don't need to apologise, Roache." Cassie said, her blue eyes looking straight at her. "I understand"

The thought hit Roisin that nobody had called her Roache before and it seemed like something special between the two of them. Roisin started to say that

it oughtn't to matter what Aiden thinks of who phones her when Cassie jumped in.

"Do you really want to talk about Aiden right now or do you want to talk about me and you?"

Roisin told Cassie that the last thing she wanted to do was to talk about Aiden except that she was going through a rough time right now and that he was

the reason for it. The thought came into her mind right now fully formed, crystal clear which up till then had been going fuzzily at the back of her mind.

She told Cassie that she lived in such a closed off world apart from Helen and Nikki who were so kind to her but didn't really understand how things were

with her. Cassie smiled to herself that they were very sharp, very perceptive and knew things that Roisin didn't know about herself yet.

"Tell me about yourself, Roache. I spend my time having quick chats with parents while I'm up to my ears with things to do that you're the first person

I've wanted to talk to in ages."

Roisin started to chat away about herself and Cassie had a clearer picture of the Roisin in her dancing years which in turn made Roisin want to go back

to where she belonged and the dance class was right in the middle of it. Cassie, in her mind, was the sum of her friends she had then but had let go. She

said that she had not had many boyfriends when she was young till she met Aiden.

"I remember you saying that you aren't the marrying sort, Cassie."

At that point, Cassie was really not sure what to say apart from saying that men were not exactly the centre of her life at which point Roisin said she

could understand that one as she had a dance school and male dancers or parents taking their daughters to dance classes were usually female and this was

what she'd grown up with all her life. Roisin couldn't put this into words but said that she'd been in the theatrical world once and that changes you.

"I mean I'm a lesbian, Roache." Cassie said thinking that Roisin would either run a mile or, hope against hope, stay. At which point, Roisin blushed and

was totally stuck for words.

" I know you're background is as traditional as it could get. Everything about you says it."

Roisin dredged back in her memory and, yes, she had seen it before but at some distance in her dancing years. It had the same impact at one remove as she

supposed it was like at a women's prison, same sort of thing but without the prison bars. She used to watch a TV women's prison drama series on a Tuesday

night when it coincided with Aiden's drinking night out with his football fan buddies till he changed his nights out and put paid to watching the series.

"Have you got anyone special, Cassie." and Cassie nodded her head firmly, yes, she now had someone special.

Roisin's face dropped at that point as she was sure it couldn't be her but Cassie looked her straight in the eye when she said.

"I mean the only person right now special to me, Roache is you."

After all the build up of the last week, the ups and downs of her recent life, to cross that bridge and find herself in Cassie's arms and kissing her seemed

the natural thing to do after all, why else was she so excited about coming to dance class this day? And it seemed so different from the Saturday night

with Aiden. For someone so larger than life as Cassie, she was surprisingly gentle. For her part, Cassie had seemed bold and the pushy one, she was surprised

to find that Roisin was not as she had seemed and bolder than she had thought.

The sunlight streamed in through the back studio windows and the distant traffic sounds faded away in their ears to nothing as time stood still. Everything

was bathed in a golden glow at that moment while they clung together and Cassie was amazed that Roisin, the traditional Irish housewife wasn't pulling

away in shock, horror as Cassie had feared. Still more so when Roisin took Cassie by the hand to find somewhere more private and as she spoke those words,

it was as if they were in a dream but they were waking.

That was the easy part for Cassie as her flat was only just yards down the street by her studio and, nervously walking there hand in hand, crossing over

the threshold was going to change their lives and it did.

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"Yaaay, we're going to McDonalds." yelled out Siobhan as the five of them went clattering down the High Street in favour of the usual garish red and yellow

shape.

"All these bloody keep fit videos." panted Helen to Nikki" They don't think of the obvious fact for mothers that chasing after lively children burns the

weight off you so I could stuff my face full of cream cakes and not think twice......not that you need to worry, Nikki anyway."

"Is Siobhan always like this when she's out?" Lauren asked Mary.

"Sis is quiet at home as she has to be for daddy round the house."

Lauren understood this and why this was having stayed the night on Friday. She was used to being relaxed round mum and Nikki and everything out in the open,

disagreements and everything. Roisin's house came as a shock even though she got on great with Roisin who was naturally motherly and welcoming. There was

this edgy atmosphere of having to keep quiet as, though Aiden was out of sight, he could come bursting in if he was angry. She made a mental note to talk

to Mum and Nikki later on.

"All right you unhealthy children," Nikki's carrying voice cut through the hubbub, "who's having what."

While Helen escorted the children to a side table, all plastic and littered with the previous occupants litter, Nikki struggled to get her order in with

all the rest of competing hubbub.

Outside it was starting to get dark and Nikki thought while they were eating, as they were late for meeting Roisin, she ought to phone her on her mobile.

On the other end, a muffled Irish voice said that there was no problems that she was quite happy stopping with Cassie till they came back. The conversation

was cut shorter than Roisin was in the habit of doing and Nikki, grinning to herself, was pretty sure of the reason. While the children were stuffing their

faces full of french fries and Big Macs, all was well.

"Did you like Lord of the Rings, Mary" Helen asked the little child who had sat up round eyes, clutching a fluffy toy and looking scared while the Black

Horses crept up to the hiding hobbits.

"Why isn't there a happy ending, Siobhan, I thought you said there was. Now I'll have nightmares."

Lauren kindly reassured Mary that all came right in the end as the original book had only been half filmed. Nikki had told her this and Lauren believed

her, having seen Nikki's well thumbed copy of the book in her overflowing bookshelves.

"Is mum all right," Siobhan asked. "We've been gone a long time and grown ups can't talk that long, not even mum."

Nikki reassured her that she'd just phoned, mum was fine, we don't have to gulp the food down and make our way up to the dance class in our own time.

"Good," Lauren asked, "Does that mean we can have a cheeseburger each. please" and three pairs of beaming angelic smiles were turned on them.

Helen and Nikki, knowing they had walked into that one, knew that the children had them cold.

Nikki and Helen enjoyed the rare chance to see a film that wasn't the 'made to measure' children's film though part of them enjoyed going back to their

own childhood's. It would be nice for them to go on their own without thinking to see a film they both liked the look of, so Lord of the Rings was a good

compromise.

They enjoyed taking Roisin's children around as they were delightful but both were conscious that the gulf between Roisin and Aiden was so wide as to leave

its marks on them. If Roisin was going to seek happiness elsewhere, that was none of their business and certainly not if it was in the arms of a certain

Miss Tyler. While they were expert at working their way through 'normal society, a little bit of backup wouldn't come amiss.

Lauren looked away at her mother and Nikki, Helen wearing her favourite black leather jacket blue jeans and Nikki looking elegant in her black trousers

and long black coat. At that moment, Lauren felt glad she had them and felt secure with both of them looking after them. Siobhan and Mary were lost in

the moment of going round town with their best friend and two kindly thoughtful grown ups, even if they had trouble following the 'grownupspeak' they talked

to each other. Just for once, they weren't hustled to move out of McDonalds by clockwatching adults who had some mysterious thing they had to be back for.

Helen figured out it was time they ought to make a move and eventually they slowly back to the dance class up the dark side streets, a very tired out Mary

trailing a bit.

Helen phoned Roisin that they were on their way.

"I'm sorry, Roisin that we've been a bit late but the children have been fine. Did you get sorted out what you needed to do with Cassie?" Helen finished,

without thinking, then hearing Cassie giggling in the background.

"Oh fine, everything's fine here, just fine" Roisin answered a touch over emphatically and suspiciously.

Helen concealed a smile with great difficulty and Nikki lost the battle altogether and had to pretend something from work had come into her mind that amused

her but 'you wouldn't understand' to the children. Presently, they rounded the corner and the familiar doors of the dance studio came closer, flanked by

the warm welcoming sight of curtained windows lit from the inside, in contrast to the dark streets.

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Cassie's dimly lit bedroom felt like the centre of the universe right now to Roisin as they lay there exhausted at peace with themselves amidst the jumbled

up quilt and trail of clothes.

"Roisin Connor, when I first clapped eyes on you I really didn't know you were going to be my all time dream lover," smiled Cassie up at Roisin, her head

on Roisin's shoulder." I was so nervous my first time."

"You, Cassie Tyler, nervous the Queen of the dance class." joked Roisin.

"Well I was fourteen at the time" and Roisin smiled at that one.

Roisin was totally at peace with herself which was a foreign, long buried feeling and, for once in her life, she was not conscious of the mental 'umbilical

chord' that connected itself to her children, what she should be doing next. All she was conscious of was the feel of Cassie next to her and endlessly

stroking that curl of fair hair that flicked past her ear. She was amazed that she wasn't going through the panic zone that she feared at the back of her

mind that blocked off from the genuine pleasure for herself that was part of her guilt complex. All there was in her world was Cassie and her.

Cassie, for her part, had been mentally prepared to have to coax a guilt ridden Roisin into bed and doing what came naturally and fearful that Roisin would

back out at the moment she was that close to making love. To have a Roisin who made it that hard to keep up with her was a surprise of a lifetime, not

that she was complaining.

They settled down comfortably snuggled up next to each other and let the world go by outside the front door. Anything outside was distant sounds as background

in the peace there was around them. The slight sound of the wind outside soothed the afternoon away.

Roisin was starting to say that having a female lover must be very isolating- Cassie held back from hanging the verbal tag 'lesbian' round Roisin's neck

that early - as surely you must feel you're the only woman in the world that feels that way.

"Come on. Roisin, love." Cassie smilingly broke in. "You've got the best support group going for you, Nikki and Helen."

"But I thought they were best friends," Roisin interrupted, taken by surprise. "I never thought."

Cassie explained how she admired them for effortlessly floating along through life, smiling to herself as they trooped off to the respectable band of mothers

who assembled at the club, in perfect disguise and the way no one even questioned, not even you when you had quite definitely started to fancy me. Cassie

told her that whatever problems she'll have in changing her lifestyle, they are ideal for helping them along. In fact she didn't put it past those two

madams for gently smoothing the way along to the two of them getting off with each other.

Roisin smiled to herself at the countless little things in conversation over the two weeks that she'd systematically succeeded in overlooking and burst

out laughing that the one thing Mrs Hollamby with all her grandiose opinions so volubly expressed never so much succeeded in dreaming of.

" And as Nikki and Helen have been so kind and helpful to us," Cassie said smiling as they moved so Cassie was on top of her, Roisin proved to herself and

to Cassie that what happened earlier on wasn't a one off.

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Right at the worst possible time, Roisin's mobile phone buzzed and bleeped its jangled interruption and Cassie gave way to a mental flash of irritation

as to how come some idiot mistimes it. The sight of Roisin's shapeliness from the rear took the edge off things a bit and a huge sigh of relief when it

was only Nikki asking if she was in a hurry to move off as the children wanted to stay for more McDonalds. Cassie smiled broadly when Roisin mumbled her

way through explaining that things were fine with her and that she was 'keeping Cassie company' which to her ears announced to Nikki loud and clear Roisin's

'coming out'. What 'made up' for Cassie for the interruption was that Roisin was coming back to her and definitely wanted to make up for lost time in the

most direct way possible.

Some time later, they were dressed and Cassie was asking when they could go out next.

"It's not as easy as that, Cassie. I've got to get a baby-sitter and there's Aiden to consider...."

"You mean you're worrying about that nobbing waste of space is thinking?" Cassie gave was to a flash of irritation that in the past she regretted.

Roisin tried to explain patiently that she'd lived a typical housewife/ mother role for years. She'd looked after the house and the children and she was

always around for them while Aiden worked. He'd gone out for a drink with 'the lads' when he'd suddenly decided to and she had stayed in. Her social life

had been about non existent. Things had changed when she'd got her job which worked around school hours and running the children to the dance lessons was

the first real break she's had.

"Going out on a date with you, Cassie, is what I want but it's something I'll have to work out, for the kids and saying something to Aiden, not for any

feelings but what trouble he'll make."

Cassie dare not press the point as it looked to her that the marriage bollocks with Aiden was on the rocks anyway without her on top but Roisin was scared

to make the break. Roisin's arm round her shoulders and was the only way she could say what she felt.

"Do you know what we forgot, Roache, you helping me out with the dance classes. I can't believe it." Cassie burst out laughing at her spectacular memory

lapse which Roisin joined in with.

Presently the mobile rang again from Nikki that they were on the way up asking if she got everything sorted out with Cassie and reassuring her that the

children are fine.

Roisin's overemphatic reassurances and the aftermath of the last conversation set Cassie off falling about in hysterics.

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Helen and Nikki trailed into the dance studio with the three tired out children trailing after them, Mary sucking her thumb and looking worn out.

"Did you have a good time, children," Roisin scooping them in her arms. "and you Lauren," Roisin asked in her all inclusive way. I can't thank you enough,

Nikki and Helen, for looking after the children."

"Why do you grownups have a good time," Siobhan said in Roisin and Cassie's direction ,"Just sitting around chatting"

"Just a bit of woman talk, that's all she needs." Cassie tried to say as casually as she could. " I bet there are times you don't let your mum into your

bedroom, don't you. And it's the same for us."

Nikki and Helen wanted to turn the other way at this point as the situation was as clear to them as if it were illuminated with neon signs. However, Nikki

calmly reassured everyone it was fun taking the children round town and she was worried about Roisin as she was clearly tired out last weekend and they

were only too glad to give Roisin a break. At which point, Cassie thought, well done Nikki, for that nice diplomatic touch which she was sure was totally

genuine and how she felt.

"Cassie and I were talking about me taking over a class of hers as she needs some help." Roisin came to the rescue. "We need to sort out dates and times

at some time."

To which Siobhan said that as long as Roisin didn't try to teach them and show them up that was fine.

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"Mum, I wanted to talk to you and Nikki about Roisin's house," Lauren asked them when she was changed ready for bed and there was nothing on TV to watch.

"There's something that worries me."

"Not all families are the same, Lauren. Different families do things different ways........." Helen started till she saw Lauren's direct questioning gaze.

"Sorry, I'm bullshitting. You said it in talking about Roisin's house. You left out Aiden and that tells a lot to us. You tell us, Lauren, we're listening."

"Roisin's a very nice woman but she's lonely. I'm not used to two grown ups living apart from each other. She needs a good friend, I'm glad she's got you

two but you're only around Saturdays and then we go back to our school friends and our own lives."

"I'm glad you get on so well with Siobhan and Mary." Nikki said with a smile on her face.

Lauren explained that Mary is so little and cute that she feels very protective of her and Siobhan is just happy go lucky and good fun.....except when they're

at home when they retreat into their shells. Thoughtfully and hesitantly, Lauren got the idea that there wasn't much love in Roisin's life, oh yes she

loves her children and anyone else's but not the same as you and Nikki.

"Are you suggesting we go matchmaking, Lauren?" Nikki asked with a trace of a smile and then, seeing on Lauren's face her disappointment at the touch of

flippancy, Nikki promised that they were good friends of Roisin and would look out for her in any way that seemed right.

Lauren smiled at that, having felt she had got to say what had been on her mind and Mum and Nikki had between them, risen to the occasion as usual.

"Tuck me into bed....whoever." Lauren said, totally undecided who she wanted but happy with who would come up with her.


	2. Chapter 2

DISCLAIMER: All the characters used within this story are the property of Shed Productions. I am using them solely to explore my creative ability.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This fic is an idea I dreamed up that I thought I'd kick off with a Roisin character (nervous look over his shoulder at Joanna), no idea

who'll enter the picture and no idea of where it is going

Normal Mothers

By

Richard

Part Two

Roisin felt that she was an actress in some grotesque play that Sunday. It all started from when she got home with her two tired out children from dance

class and Aiden came bounding over to tell her that the periodic nightmare was coming back, having Aiden's mother over on the Sunday tomorrow. She was

totally taken aback by this but was caught in a moment when she wasn't feeling as assertive as she should have been. She had the feeling at the back of

her mind that the time would come when she would have to start to unravel the habits of her lifestyle for earnest but not yet.

"Make sure the house is tidy, Roisin. you know how house proud Mum is." called Aiden.

Roisin was just so far from telling him, why don't you give me a hand but backed off. With no great enthusiasm, she did the usual chores she would otherwise

have done but it jarred her to hear the word 'house proud'. She liked things tidy but realised that her house ought to feel comfortable and people friendly

and not some showhouse, the immaculate order achieved by neurotic scrubbing and cleaning, accompanied by edgy arguments and lived in where you felt mentally

cramped. However Aiden had regaled her with stories all her married life that that is how her mother lived and no one could compare with his mother. In

the past, she had let this flow of words go over her but she was not sure just how much she would tolerate, after all, she had a job of work to do as well.

After an evening of cleaning, she went to bed knackered and Siobhan and Mary felt likewise from their day out. She couldn't remember saying much to Aiden

who was full of himself all evening.

Sunday morning, the living nightmare was getting into gear with Aiden shouting at the children to tidy their rooms to questioning looks from them. Roisin

in her more relaxed way sort of half and half did it with them. Siobhan looked at mum and decided this was something they would go along with. Roisin was

then panicked into getting an extra special dinner just for Aiden's mum, going further than she would normally go so that as Aiden put it, she wouldn't

want to appear to be a bad mother or housewife. Roisin came that bit closer to losing it but said that she knew how good she was and to just lighten it

a bit, a comment that went unheard.

Presently there came by taxi, an elderly grandmotherly figure who had a kiss for 'her Aiden' first who beamed back at her and told Roisin with razor sharp

clarity that he was a mother's boy but she hadn't the time to think this through properly.

"Excuse me while I see to the dinner" and she scuttled through to the one room where she wouldn't be interrupted and she prodded at the potatoes and checked

how the joint was cooking. She had a sinkful of serving dishes that were tucked away in the furthest recesses of her kitchen that she dried to perfection.

The normally boisterous Siobhan came through in ultra correct mode with Mary looking to her to set a lead and Aiden's mother went on about how good it was

to see such quiet polite children, it's all due to the way they were brought up and what a good father Aiden is. Roisin overheard this and with an effort

of will reasoned that she was dependent on the distorted impression that Aiden kept feeding her with and no wonder she came out with such rubbish.

In the end, she came forward with the dinner on the nearly perfectly set dinner table. Aiden proudly did his piece in carving the joint while Roisin scuttled

round and served everyone with dinner, asking nervously if they had had enough. Siobhan and Mary kept their heads down and got stuck into the dinner and

said nothing which wasn't their normal style. Roisin was now deep in the nightmare as she was in close proximity with Aiden and his mother at dinner table

where she had nowhere to run.

Roisin kept quiet too, indeed she had no choice as Aiden and his mother held forth and didn't give her a chance of a look in.

"In such wicked modern times, it's nice to see a perfect family like you have Aiden, a perfect wife and perfect children, all living in harmony."

"Well, it's what I've worked hard for, all my life." Aiden replied and went on to say that traditional values can still be instilled even in these days.

As the conversation went on, Roisin, deprived of speech, was able to detach her thoughts and see that she wanted her children to be good and everything

but she expected them to have minds and thoughts of their own and she couldn't manage things like she was a Naval Captain but showing love and being there

for them which Aiden wasn't. Aiden being a mummy's boy had lost the plot as he hadn't got that flexibility and just narrow mindedly repeated last generation's

failures. His philosophising was as good as a chocolate fireguard. What above all rankled and stood out most was his 'keeping up appearances' which she

had no time for.

A perfect wife, she thought and her mind flicked back to the wonders of her day with Cassie. At one time, she might have felt guilty but not any more. She

wanted a different identity. She made a mental note that she had to phone Cassie on her mobile later on, having exchanged numbers yesterday and spoken

to her quickly the night before.

Eventually, she got her release and everyone 'got down' from the table when Aiden said so, again playing to the gallery to his mother. Roisin took the advantage

to clear the table and get stuck into the washing up where, working on automatic pilot, she cleared her way through the mountain of pots. Siobhan and Mary,

still feeling tired, made polite excuses and went off to their bedroom. It's as if I've been invaded she felt, while Aiden and her mother were in full

flow of conversation.

Right at the end of the day, Aiden made Roisin's heart nearly stop when he asked her if she would stop for the night and she was much relieved when she

wouldn't dream of imposing as he had to get up for work the next day. Siobhan looked closely at her mother who wasn't giving anything away in her facial

expression but just knew what she was thinking but likewise, kept her face straight. Aiden was clearly disappointed but volunteered to drive his mother

to the railway station instead.

"Goodbye, grandma. It's been lovely to have you" came the insincere farewells as Aiden proudly helped his mother open the front door and set off into the

car.

At this point, Siobhan and Mary switched on the TV being just in time to watch their favourite programme that they had been fearful they would miss with

the long drawn out delay of the ceremony of "Grandma's leaving the house."

Roisin ran upstairs, grabbed her mobile and feverishly pressed the buttons that came up "Cassie" and started to pour her heart out.

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Cassie had woken up late on a Sunday morning bleary eyed. She could feel a hole in the bed where Roisin was the other day and she was hyperconscious of

this and that, perhaps, life as an independent single woman was not all it cracked up to be.

She could remember Roisin as she last saw her, halfway back to being responsible parent with Siobhan and Mary in tow but that she would phone Cassie up

as soon as she could. One look in her eye told her Roisin meant it. It wasn't too safe to phone Roisin in case Aiden picked up the phone. Her first thought

was, why in hell did it matter what Aiden thought and above all, she is Miss Tyler in charge of the dance school phoning a parent as she had a right to

but this was Roisin's way that she was Cassie phoning up her lover.

Late at night, the phone jangled through her thoughts and a panicking Roisin told her briefly that she had Aiden's mother coming round, oh Christ. Cassie

crushed the thought that Roisin was running back to respectable land, not the tone she spoke in. She later found a bottle of vodka stashed away which she

had gone through the bottom of and flopped into bed, the room rotating round her, hence the lie in on Sunday.

The rest of Sunday was a lie about the place, watch a few soaps she ordinarily wouldn't have bothered with but the endless bickering of couples on Eastenders

rapidly got on her nerves. The sky gradually got darker and Cassie made a cup of black coffee to clear her head when the phone rang again.

"Cassie, I have had it up to here." Roisin's voice pitched low but the heartfelt tones rang loud and clear. "This is the end of the line with me and Aiden

and the beginning for me and you if we want it."

After that bolt out of the blue, Cassie suggested that she should talk to Nikki and Helen and come upfront and could they arrange a sleepover and find some

reason to come over to her place. The conversation seemed to Cassie almost dreamlike as too good to be true but when she pinched herself, it was all real.

"Seeing you can't come soon enough for me. Gotta go now, Cassie" Roisin said and the way she said it she reran in her mind later time after time.

On the other end of the phone, Roisin's hand was shaking. She had struggled on, year after year, with a situation that was not working. She had never done

anything about it as there seemed no alternative till it struck her that Cassie is the alternative. She had grown up in a traditional society where she

was expected to 'put up with a bad job' but times were changing and so was she.

Helen was just sticking some last minute clothes in the washing machine ready for tomorrow when the phone rang. Curious, as none of them received many phone

calls on a Sunday night, she was surprised to receive a phone call from an agitated Roisin wanting to talk to her or Nikki for personal advice perhaps

after work when Helen mentioned that she had reason to be up near the school she worked on Monday lunchtime and what about that quiet cafe down the road

one lunchtime. Roisin was delighted that things fell into place that quickly and thanked her over and over again.

"Don't mention it, Roisin. I'll be looking forward to it and if there is any way I can help, I will."

Helen had remembered what Lauren had said the night before and she had a gut feeling that Roisin really could do with help and she was the best one there

to give the help.

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Babs felt comfortable in the secure lifestyle she had had. It had been a shock to lose her husband Peter when she did but she had looked after him up to

the bitter end and any sadness she felt was comforted that there was nothing left unsaid or undone and that he had met his Maker with a clear conscience

and of the deep love they had shared. She had had to become more outgoing and the job she had kept her anchored through the worst of it. She had welcomed

the arrival of Roisin who was younger and mired in the responsibilities she had had before her children flew the nest. Her ready smile and helpfulness

made her in Babs book someone she could work in a relaxed fashion, essential with that total idiot who pretended to run the school, Fenner, rampaged round

like a total hooligan. Many a time, she had to seek the advice of the local vicar when unkind or uncharitable thoughts came to her, which was most of the

time at work. he said that this was part of God's plan to try her and she kept thinking that, yes it certainly did, but strained her power of forgiveness.

Recently, Roisin had become more visibly under strain but she could not talk about it except from the periodic half dropped comments. The sheer absence

of talk about her husband Aiden,, which she might have expected, spoke volumes to her. She was relieved when she had become more excited towards the end

of the week that she was getting more happiness in her life. Monday morning, she was up and down throughout the day and got visibly nervous just before

lunchtime. Eventually in a rush, Roisin asked if she would cover her for a long lunch. Something in her manner made Babs say, yes straightaway. The "Bless

you" and sudden quick grateful smile, like sunlight across her face as if on still waters, made Babs feel that she had done the right thing and God would

smile down on her for whatever purpose Roisin had for the favour.

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Helen was sitting comfortably in a quiet part of the cafe sipping a cup of coffee when a slightly dishevelled Roisin stumbled in. She waved briefly and

zoomed over to Helen's table.

"You might be wondering why I've suddenly wanted to talk to you for advice, Helen." Roisin started in straight away as if talking while her nerve was up.

"It's that something's happened in my life that you could help me on, being a mother."

Helen was fractionally shifting her 'guess the puzzle' to mundane mother and children's matters when Roisin continued in a hesitant way of talking about

her and Nikki being such good friends and that it was about relationships.

Helen saw the way the conversation was leading and said straight out that she and Nikki were partners, lovers and, keeping it as light as she could, was

interested why the sudden questions along these lines.

"It's not what you think, Helen." Roisin was profusely apologetic. The last thing she was wanting to convey that she was a 'disgusted of Tonbridge Wells'

who had just 'found out' about Nikki and Helen, in fact quite the opposite. "It's just that......"

Helen put two and two together and started calmly explaining her life that, yes Nikki was gay all her life but that she had had boyfriends and at one point

was engaged to be married. Then Nikki came into her life and she fell for her. It was the hardest thing in her life to go through a change in her identity

and be pulled different ways, especially with a disapproving father who was a minister. Looking back on it, she was glad to have found Nikki as she had,

she had no regrets as she could not imagine living with someone else. Having a daughter to bring up had gone fine, so far, so good.

Roisin's whole body language relaxed visibly at this and tentatively said that her marriage to Aiden was on the rocks, it had been limping along for years

and recently she has met someone else who she is sure she is meant for.

"Yes, that's what I found about Nikki," Helen said reflectively. "but what of you, if you don't mind me asking?"

The kindness and concern on Helen's face and their easy going friendship over the weeks gave Roisin the last spur to spill the beans.

"It's Cassie Tyler. I'm totally in love with her"

Helen gave her a quick hug to congratulate her and the pent up dam had burst and Roisin talked to Helen how much Cassie meant to her and how she was sure

Cassie felt the same. Both of them were sufficiently conscious to keep their voices low and keep half an eye on the rest of the cafe but not enough to

stop them talking.

"I suppose that pretty soon, you'll be telling Aiden and separating from him. from what you've not said all these weeks, this seems a foregone conclusion"

The natural way Helen spoke, put the mental jigsaw pieces together in her mind in one quick shuffle and she started to panic as a rush of thoughts about

telling the children, confronting Aiden, his mother like some ancient warhorse, custody, possible moving house made her go into a blind panic and visibly

sweat.

"You can only manage things step at a time, Roisin" Helen placed her hand on Roisin's arm. "Never fear, Nikki and I will be with you every step of the way.

And Lauren knows at least half of what you've told me. And the other half won't come as any great surprise. Trust me" and Helen looked intensely into her

eyes.

A visible weight had lifted off Roisin's shoulders now that, besides Cassie, a close friend also knew and was supportive of her. For her part, Helen felt

so sympathetically for her friend who she knew was carrying enough of the world's worries on her shoulders and was well prepared for what Roisin was going

to say. She was highly conscious that she needed to be as sensitive and attuned to Roisin so that the size of the steps ahead wouldn't frighten her on

the one hand, or that she was unprepared on the other. What she had to do should be made achievable with a great effort.

They were casually chatting about Cassie and Helen gently floated the thought that Cassie should not be after a casual fling with a married woman with two

children, advice to break up a marriage wasn't lightly given by her. In passing, Helen mentioned that Nikki was very close to her older brother Chris who

was a solicitor and she might need that before long. Chris and his partner, Gemma and their children were part of their family and in close touch.

"Think it over, Roisin and, remember Nikki and I are with you every step of the way."

Roisin looked at her watch and thought, Christ, she promised Babs she'd be back in ten minutes, she'd have to rush but Helen offered to drop her back outside

the school.

"You've taken a load off my mind, Helen. bless you." Roisin smiled that quick smile that made Helen think she'd done the right thing. The last Helen saw

of Roisin was her hurrying her way past the school gates to the big double doors. Amongst everything, Roisin was cheered up by having a childminder for

the next time she could see Cassie which with all her heart she wanted to be soon.

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Aiden was where he felt most comfortable, out with the lads. He was tired of all his attempts to be the man of the house not getting the support from Roisin

that he felt he should get so he told Roisin when he got home that he was going out to the pub, take it or leave it. For a change Roisin didn't fuss the

way she had done in the past, even when the children were sleeping over some place he couldn't remember where Roisin had said. He was always a bit wobbly

on these sort of details. he felt an inward glow and felt satisfied he'd put his foot down with Roisin in his right when he decided to 'go out with the

lads' though he was vaguely disappointed that there wasn't an argument that he'd come out on top. You would have thought she would have been lonely and

wanting his company but, no, she accepted that she would stop in. Well bugger it, once he was out of the house, he was a free agent and he wasn't going

to come home when she wanted.

He was waylaid by his mates as soon as he entered the pub and was soon part of a loud talking gang intent on putting the pints away. Aiden had a reputation

with them of being the philosopher amongst them. No matter how small the matter was, Aiden had some all inclusive proverb that summed things up and related

to the 'good old days'. Everyone listened to him and he could hold an audience unlike that Roisin never gave him the admiration that was his due, especially

these days.

With the alcohol to blur inhibitions, it also made things seem much more definite and simple and he felt at times like these that he could conquer the world.

Be it how to put their football team at the top of the premier, what was wrong with the modern world, illegal immigrants and how to send them home, 'the

lads' had an answer. See, when you look at things this way, things are all so simple.

Aiden was also a generous man and in his role of centre of attention, if one of them was a bit short of money, Aiden would lend him money and they all said

'good old Aiden'. The other side of their home life was never mentioned, not if they had wives, partners and children at home as that was the great unmentionable.

The talk got louder and louder as the evening wore on, glasses clinked, empties piled up and time went on as if it didn't exist. All got churned up together

in a kaleidoscope of bright lights and another round.

Presently, Aiden staggered out towards the gents to go for a piss and as he stood up, he stared upwards into the bright light shining down on him but the

alcohol and the light only offered him a blurred feeling of enlightenment. Flashbacks came into his mind that he only got married as he'd got Roisin pregnant

and because of his mother wanting to keep the Connor family name respectable, he'd found himself at the front of the church pew, dressed up in a suit mouthing

"I do". Another chunk in the kaleidoscope was the rows he was starting to have more with Roisin where once, she'd back down. It must be the undesirable

influence of the women in the dance school, perhaps that Helen for instance. Because Miss Tyler's dance school had a high reputation amongst the parents,

he couldn't say no when the children first started.

Anyway, he was supposed to forget about such things and he came staggering out, asking whose round it was to push himself further on the alcohol Oblivion

Express Train..

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In another room, all was silent and peaceful as Cassie and Roisin lay together.

"I can't believe, Roisin, that you fixed up a night like this so quick. When you phoned me up out of the blue to spend the night with you, I couldn't believe

my, sorry make that our luck."

Roisin was in seventh heaven as she lay intimately draped round Cassie. For the one split second, she thought of the emotional wall that ran down the length

of the double bed when Aiden was there in contrast to the desire for physical closeness that both Cassie and Roisin shared. It was the tenderness between

them that still surprised Roisin when she recalled the larger than life dance teacher she saw at the dance studio.

"Cassie, how far do you want things to go between us?" Roisin asked with a trace of anxiety in her voice.

"You mean, you're not satisfied Roisin, Some women take so much pleasing." Cassie said jokingly about to move on top of Roisin.

"It's not that, it's living together." Roisin replied with the feeling of diving off a top board.

Cassie was equally stunned. She had been used to a 'go with the flow' feeling with a woman who had lasted longer than any other lover but Cassie in one

flash took that to mean also parent to Siobhan and Mary. That was the scary thing. She'd gone once with Roisin and the children to the bowling rink and

enjoyed herself far more than she had thought and Siobhan and Mary were nice kids. Nevertheless, they saw her as Miss Tyler, dance teacher and not Roisin's

partner and would be parent.

"I know how much I'm asking of you but you know that me and the kids come together in the end. you know that."

"I'm nervous, Roisin. I've not been used to that amount of responsibility in my personal life, work's different. Young, free unattached and very available,

that's me up till now. I'm nervous of messing up. It's a lot to take on"

"We've always got Helen and Nikki to help out. I've talked to Helen, remember." Roisin said eagerly.

Cassie answered Roisin's unspoken thought by reminding her that while Nikki and Helen may be doing an awful lot for them, once they are together, then they'll

have the freedom to help them back, especially as being in the same situation. She knew Roisin's easily developed sense of guilt and her desire to do favours

in return and that she loved to help anyway.

There was a feeling of the gradual crossing of the waters and a life to be that was just being born. Roisin confessed to being equally nervous and both

looked into a future that felt like riding a raft down a swift flowing river with calm still peaceful waters in the distant horizon but rapids ahead and

who knows what would come up. For Roisin, the final break with Aiden was something she half feared as well as so much wanted and, once done, couldn't be

undone.

"Roisin, love, hope you've not changed your mind and think you can't take the pace." Cassie teased.

"I'll show you, Cassie Tyler what I'm made of" Roisin and Cassie was more than pleased to be shown.

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Nikki went ahead and took Siohban up to bed first as she was really tired giving Lauren a chance to 'mother' Mary while Helen pottered around downstairs.

"You know we really like having you and Mary round." Nikki said quietly. "Lauren's great but sometimes she wishes she weren't an only child. Still we were

lucky to have the one chance with Lauren."

Siobhan smiled all over at that remark, knowing how unpretentiously sincere Nikki was. She was happy there but one question that had been at the back of

her mind when she asked Nikki if Helen and her really loved each other and, without a blink, Nikki replied, as simply as possible, as much as any other

loving couple did. Nikki for her part was nervous in explaining that one to someone else's child, the first time she had to deal with that one outside

her family and was pleased that the words chose themselves. She could see that Siobhan accepted this one but Nikki was dismayed when Siobhan burst into

tears.

Instantly Nikki put her arms round her to comfort her and Siobhan cried her eyes out, clinging to her.

She got it out that things at home were worse and worse and she found it harder and harder to deal with the chilly atmosphere and rows now. She wanted it

to all go away, for her mummy to be stronger and why does dad have to preach, get drunk and be nasty all the time.

"I'd be lying to you if I said that this is all natural and part of life, it shouldn't be." Nikki said, tears trickling down her face. "Things should be

different."

Siobhan explained that she kept up this happy go lucky front to cover up her own unhappiness and said straight out that she would be happy in a house like

hers with two mummies if it meant that everyone was happy. Lauren's happy and no matter how some of the other girls at school giggle about women like that,

at which point, she stumbled a bit, she would sooner be happy than normal.

Nikki's heart went out to the girl seeing a bit of her own childhood, thinking deliverance might come earlier than she thought. She tucked the bedclothes

tight round her and stayed awhile while the exhausted girl dropped off to sleep. She delicately tiptoed out of the room and turned out the light.

"Mary, you'll have to share the room with Lauren tonight," Nikki said and two smiling faces showed the answer.

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Back at the pub, the talk got louder and the thoughts sodden in alcohol. The crowd had no idea of this, they were having a good time.

"Aiden, look at that good looking barmaid, she fancies you."

Aiden could see that the woman in the low cut black top was giving him the eye but protested that he had a wife at home, one of the best, he slurred drunkenly.

"That's not what you said earlier, Aiden. Roisin's the spoilsport that would keep you tied to the house all the time while you slave your guts out. Why

don't you stop out for the night? You never know, you might be lucky"

Aiden's mind switched promptly and on another drunken suggestion, staggered over to the pub phonebox, somehow pressed the right buttons and slurred down

the phone that he was stopping out the night with the lads and would come back the next day. He barely heard a mumbled voice in reply and put the phone

down.

"That's showing her," he shouted triumphantly. "Now who's for another round" to the roaring, out of focus crowd.

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A couple of minutes earlier, Roisin jumped with a start.

"My God, Aiden. I can't remember when he's likely to come back." Roisin panicked, getting out of the bed where Cassie lay. She started looking for where

she put her bra and blouse in the tumble of clothes there was on the floor.

Cassie groaned to herself that Aiden nobbing Connor, the world's biggest nobbing obstacle was getting in the way of the best night she'd had for ages.

"Why don't you tell Aiden, hi I'm gay, I've a lover who's ten times better than you."

"I can't, Cassie, not tonight, soon when things are ready."

"There'll never be the perfect time, Roisin, you're stalling."

Just at that minute when they were both getting worked up, the jagged shrill voice of the phone made them both jump.

"I'd better answer the phone, Cassie." Roisin said miserably. Cassie turned over in bed, sick at the thought of what must be bad news.

To Roisin's disbelieving ears, she heard a blare of party noises and a clearly drunken slurred Aiden shouting that he was staying out with the lads and

click, the phone was put down.

Cassie was astonished to see Roisin, only wearing an unbuttoned blouse, collapse into a chair in a fit of the giggles and was unable to stop herself.

"What in hell has happened now, Roisin." she said starting to smile as it must be good news though how that could be, escaped her understanding.

"It's Aiden he's......" "been found to be a bigamist"....."no Cassie, he's very kindly told us that he's staying out for the night...."

"....leaving us to enjoy ourselves..." Cassie said, falling about laughing.

In contrast to the tension before the phone call, they were both doubled up with laughter for ages so hysterically funny the phone call seemed to them and

that, for once, Aiden had made things easier for them.

"Our first argument," Roisin said, "and you know what the best thing for arguments, you...." "......kiss and make up" Cassie finished for them. The way

they were starting to finish each other's sentences off reminded Roisin of these two women on this women's prison drama she's started watching till Aiden

put a stop to that one. That was the last she thought of Aiden for the rest of that night.

Roisin looked at the house numbers of Nikki and Helen's house and, as promised, the display of flowers in the front garden marked out their house. She lay

back in the car seat for a few seconds, smiling to herself and feeling the brilliant sunshine reflect her own 'all right with the world' feeling even though

she was pretty knackered with not much sleep.

"Coming darling." Cassie smiled at her as they made their way to the front door and were greeted by Helen's usual outgoing hospitality.

"I can't thank you enough for putting up my children again." Roisin said effusively.

Helen once again told her to think nothing of it, they're no trouble and smiled to herself, sensing the closeness between the two of them.

"From what Helen told me, you two are thinking of moving in together," came Nikki's voice from the back of Roisin as she brought in two mugs of coffee.

Roisin and Cassie exchanged questioning glances till Roisin nodded her head and thought, yes, that's what I meant to think only I hadn't quite realised

that. The day she had spent with Cassie had made things more certain in her mind.

They chatted over a cup of coffee in a front room totally unremarkable except the overflow of Nikki's books and a CD collection which Cassie's eyes took

in as pretty distinctive. it was so normal and cosy.

"The sleeping beauties haven't woken yet," Nikki explained smiling. When they stopped over, they ended up chattering for some time after they had gone to

sleep and Helen and Nikki calmly tolerated the bleary eyed children who tottered downstairs as long as it wasn't a school night.

Roisin and Cassie were really dead tired out and that, plus the relaxing atmosphere in the house, meant that Roisin could feel her eyes shutting occasionally

while Cassie leant her head on Roisin's shoulder and snuggled up next to her.

"Looks like it will be the dead in charge of the dead" smiled Helen at Nikki "and no guesses why they both look so wrecked."

A little later three children with quilts wrapped round them. Siobhan and Mary flopped themselves down on the settee with Roisin and Cassie and started

sucking their thumbs.

"You don't mind, Miss Tyler" Siobhan asked politely before the thumb went back in her mouth.

"Course I don't," laughed Cassie "and you call me Cassie out of school.". And she put her arms round the child and gave her an affectionate hug and was

nearly swamped by the voluminous quilt that nearly covered her face. She was used to being Miss Dance Teacher but having Roisin's child go up to her and

plonk herself on her lap brought out a mothering instinct that she had spent years denying she had. Mary had similarly collared Roisin while Lauren took

the advantage to waylay Helen while she was sitting down sipping a mug of coffee. Helen had to move fast to plonk the mug onto a sidetable or that would

have gone flying.

Nikki smiled at the domesticated scene which made her feel happy at the wholeness and completion of the scene. She was used to it with just her, Helen and

Lauren but was touched that the others wanted to share their world, or the sort of world that they represented. She could see the grins that Roisin and

Cassie shared.

"Would you like to have two mummies, sis, like Lauren has" piped Mary out of nowhere.

"You mean like Mum and Cassie?" Siobhan asked.

Cassie blushed a delicate shade of pink which she never did, her image being brash and devil may care. Lauren smiled and she was aware straight off just

what the situation was now. She dared not say anything as she didn't know if she would mess things up and thought mum or Nikki would be better to speak.

"Cassie is the best friend I could have in my life right now and if it is all right by Cassie, I want to have her more and more into my life." Roisin said

loudly. Inside she was sweating as this was the first stab she had had of broaching the great unmentionable to her children. With vast relief, she realised

that the floor wasn't swallowed up at her feet. "Of course, you won't see any less of Helen, Nikki and Lauren", she hastily added sensing the danger in

time and, of course, this was meant. Nobody drew attention to the fact that Aiden didn't get a mention nor did anyone pick up on it.

Underneath the piled up quilts, Cassie gave Roisin's hand a squeeze in appreciation in having the nerve to coming out with the truth as close as she dared.

For the first time, she had the feeling that the children belonged with her, not just Roisin. When she had a flashback of her as she was only a few months

ago as a free single woman, this would have been the last way she would have foreseen her life going. All that didn't matter right now. Both of them had

Nikki and Helen as the example both of them needed right now as what was possible, besides that they were friends in a million.

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Suddenly, there was a deafening knock at the front door that made everyone jump and shattered the feeling of calm and restfulness.

Nikki went to answer the front door, grim faced, halfway suspecting who it was and that she should confront the shadowy figure at the back of Roisin's life

and that it spelt trouble.

"Where the hell is my wife, Roisin Connor?" a swaying Aiden yelled.

"Who the bloody hell are you, and what do you mean kicking up such a row" stormed Nikki, taking instant dislike to the guy who had been out on the piss

last night, suddenly woke up and wanted Roisin to jump to it.

Aiden barged past and into the front room and started yelling at Roisin to come home. He'd returned home and it was Roisin's place to cook the family dinner.

The children shrank away and clung to Roisin and Cassie.

Helen's Scottish temper blew a fuse straight away and launched into a tirade that no one comes to their house drunk and abusive, Roisin was their friend

and what in the name of humanity did he think to upset the children one of who is mine. she knew that all he was really concerned was his dinner and she

hated the total dishonesty of him. She went into the sort of verbal attack mode that didn't waste any sound and fury but very precisely exposed what a

hash he had made of his role as husband and father and blew his arguments out of the water. She could see him flinch at the attack and also realised he

was letting down appearances and so he promptly backtracked in a flash and weaselled his way out of the situation that he was afraid nothing had happened

to his wife and children, conveniently forgetting his drinking binge and the barmaid from last night.

Nikki watched with silent contempt at the hypocrisies flowing from his mouth and his attempt to smarm and blarney his way out of the situation. Lauren was

torn between, thank God he'll be out of his house and pity for Roisin and her children being dragged back home. Besides, he had seen the invisible parent

at work when she had stayed over and felt for Siobhan and Mary's visible feelings of panic. Cassie felt bitterly that Roisin should go back to an impossible

situation but unless Roisin broke from him, there was nothing she could do. Her instinct was to give Aiden a piece of her mind but she felt she couldn't

do so as it wasn't her house but it was Helen's.

In a last gesture which Aiden thought was him being magnanimous, Aiden thanked Helen for looking after his children and to pass on his thanks to her husband,

oh yes and her friends with her.

Roisin shepherded her children out of the door who were clinging to her clothes and said she'd be in touch. She looked in Cassie's direction in particular,

smiled briefly and was gone.

"The sooner you and Roisin get together, the better" Lauren said baldly to Cassie, which Nikki and Helen silently echoed.

Cassie asked her if it was so obvious what there was between them and Lauren gave her a pitying look that only children reserve for grown ups who stumble

along thinking that the situation is well hidden only the children have sussed things out years ago and are waiting impatiently for the grown ups to spit

it out and not waffle.

"Siobhan was half way up for it and now I think she's certain. Mary used to think Aiden was special because he wasn't around but now he's blown it with

her."

Helen and Nikki were exchanging 'our pride and joy of a daughter' look with radiant smiles on their faces and Cassie now had the gut feeling that big changes

were hanging in the air just waiting to happen. it was as if a half open door had been frustratingly been jammed just needed that last final push to burst

open.

"Can I stay here for a bit. I've got a feeling that this situation will suddenly blow. I'll look after Lauren if you want."

Lauren thanked Cassie very graciously but said she wanted to go upstairs to bed but if she wanted anything, she would ask Cassie.

"You've let yourself in for that one, Cassie." Helen smiled. "She means it like she means everything."

Suddenly Nikki started to giggle and ask Helen where was her husband and started to call husband, husband up the stairs and opening the cubby hole door

under the staircase pretending to look for him. Lauren's laughing voice could be heard asking the grown ups not to be so silly. Helen and Cassie fell about

laughing though they knew that this was a nervous reaction to the threatening situation that must be developing a few miles away.

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Roisin felt as if she were suddenly pitched into a cold dark living nightmare from the warmth and light and cosy security of Helen and Nikki's house. Aiden

had arrived in a taxi and made a grab at Roisin's handbag to get the car keys.

"You can't drive, Aiden. I can smell the drink on you. You'll get pulled up for sure."

Siobhan and Mary started crying and pleading to dad not to drive. Eventually, he slumped into the passenger seat while Roisin steered the car homewards.

In reality, this gave Aiden the chance to go on at Roisin asking where she had been and to abuse her and criticising her driving. Roisin swerved past a

car that she nearly hit at right angles while Siobhan and Mary clung terrified to each other. Roisin was frightened while she was driving feeling totally

unsafe and she was still more frightened at the thought of getting to the house which was rapidly ceasing to be a home.

It was dark and drizzling and Roisin shepherded the children into the house, her arms round them while Aiden reeled in after them, tripped over the front

doorstep and nearly went headlong. She'd seen him drunk before but never as aggressive as this. Her instinct was to put the children to bed upstairs and

try and deal with things downstairs as best she could.

"You settle to bed, my babies. I'll look after Aiden." Roisin said with a flash of a smile that fooled no one. Siobhan took Mary into her bed and clung

onto her with a helpless feeling that mum might not be able to deal with this one and they certainly couldn't.

Downstairs Aiden was playing a game of demanding that he be fed and anything she suggested he refused and his slurred voice told her that his mother could

knock up a meal anytime. This was his way at getting her to say where she'd been but he couldn't say this. Roisin felt that he was just playing games with

her head and pleaded for him to calm down. He picked up a can of Tennant's Extra Strength lager he'd brought along with him and started glugging from this.

Roisin looked at this situation as if it were not real to her, pinch herself and she'd awake. The light was off in the kitchen and she could hear the bleak

sound of rain hitting the kitchen windows.

Suddenly he had the impulse to say goodnight to the children, after all he was their father but Roisin pleaded with him not to do so as he was in no fit

state, She trailed after him as he stumbled up the stairs and could see the shock in the child's eyes.

In a split second, she was the child flashbacked thirty years or so when her own father came in drunk and she vowed it would never happen to her again but

it was, through Siobhan.

"You're drunk, Aiden. Not in front of the children. It should never happen."

"I've worked hard to give these children standards........" started Aiden in a slurred voice waving the can of lager around.

"And every word you've said you are living a lie, Aiden. You have nothing to give them. For gods sake let them get to sleep." Roisin was really frantic

at this point and Siobhan and Mary picked up on her feelings.

Next thing, she found herself on the floor not knowing how she got there or the sudden pain on her face where Aiden hit her. This is not real, she thought.

"You're no good to me, Roisin." slurred Aiden and he lumbered off downstairs nearly falling down the stairs.

Siobhan jumped straight out of bed to put her arms round Roisin while she was shaking with the shock of it all.

"You've got to phone Helen and Nikki. We need help, mum. They'll come, I know it."

Feverishly Roisin stabbed at the buttons on the phone and gabbled out briefly what had happened before she could hear the sounds of Aiden clumping and bashing

round in the front room. What he was doing, she dreaded to think but her instinct was to lie low till rescue came.

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It was bitterly cold and spitting down with rain but Helen and Nikki had a brief discussion outside Roisin's house. Blank eyeless windows, unlit from within

stared out and there wasn't a sound.

"What in hell do we do next? " Helen queried. "Anything could have happened since Roisin phoned. What do we say."

Nikki suggested that they were just passing by. It didn't convince her but they were just going to have to think on their feet and be ready for anything.

The knock on the door was delivered with more confidence than she felt.

Amazingly enough, the door opened and Roisin's face peeped round the door. Besides the mark on her face, she had clearly gone through an emotional wringer.

The whole operation took place soundlessly that Roisin and the children emerged with suitcases and quilts and plastic bags and no sound of Aiden. Nikki

was on tenterhooks wondering if he was going to suddenly erupt from a sideroom but not a squeak.

"Looks like we've got everything." Helen said in a deliberately matter of face way and suggested that Nikki drove Roisin's car as she was in no fit state

and Roisin and the children poured into Helen's car. The rain was still teeming down and steaming up the windows as they looked back at as they drove away

from what was a dead home and Aiden somewhere in the middle of it. The journey home was silent as Roisin was beyond speaking, while Siobhan and Mary were

similarly knocked out. The whole thing seemed unreal. They would catch up with everything emotionally the next morning. Nikki and Helen were going through

the total surprise at everything going off so low key after psyching themselves for a battle royal.

While the children finally settled to bed, Cassie and Roisin made do on cushions downstairs and there wasn't a murmur of surprise that the two of them cuddled

up against each other with quilts over them. The children knew mum was safe and Cassie would look after her.

Nikki looked down at the couple, so at peace with each other and smiled to herself. It reminded her nostalgically of when she and Helen first got together.

She didn't think the house could take as many people in it but that was no problem. She hoped that that was finally the end of the day. She felt suddenly

knackered with the day it had been and there was nothing for it to turn in for where Helen was waiting. The dim landing light which she left on created

a glow of peace, outlining the sleeping bodies below and just the slight sounds of rain tapping against the window to soothe everyone to sleep.

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Nikki woke up early and realised she'd left her ciggies downstairs. Carefully folding the clean white quilt back she tiptoed out of the room, trying to

avoid the creaking floorboards. Treading lightly down the stairs, she grinned at the rather tangled double quilt on the living room floor where Cassie

and Roisin had improvised their bed. They looked as if they were wrapped round each other and the top of Roisin's dark hair could be seen and her arm round

Roisin's shoulders judging by the shape. The sunlight cast rays through the living room window. All was piece and serenity as Nikki found the packet next

to the kettle and she delicately crept into the toilet for an early morning smoke and back to bed to a Helen who was always overful of the "up in the morning"

spirit and defied the rest of the world who said 'slumber on'

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Presently, there was the loud thumping of childish feet upstairs and Siobhan, followed by Lauren and a trailing Mary hurled themselves downstairs and thump,

right on top of a sleeping Roisin and Cassie.

"Mum, it's time for a pillow fight, you grown ups against the children." yelled Siobhan.

Cassie groaned and was going to turn over in bed and go back to sleep till she caught Roisin's eye and realising, this was the shape of the future, armed

herself with a pillow. This was new to her but dredging childhood memories from her subconscious threw herself into the game but taking care not to injure

any of the children accidentally. Pretty soon Cassie had both Mary and Siobhan sat on top of her, squashing her but she laughed and remembered what it

was like to play. Lauren sat back a bit, pleased that her little plan worked and she then flung herself against Roisin who was so pleased that Cassie responded

so well and treasured this moments of simplicity and innocence.

"Does this mean that we are going to have two mummies like Lauren has Nikki and Helen," Mary asked as she plonked herself on Cassie's lap and curled up

next to her.

This was one of those moments that hung in mid air and was going to be grasped with both hands or hesitation would lead to lost chances. Roisin exchanged

side glances with Cassie and plunged in and said an emphatic yes.

"And two of us to read bedtime stories" "yes" and Lauren told them how nice Cassie was last night at doing that which Cassie smiled gratefully at the graceful

compliment.

And they ran through the other things that meant to them, putting plasters on, playing games, taking them to the park and when Cassie and Roisin were totally

suckered asked for double portions of McDonalds on dance lessons, said with winning smiles.

"Well sometimes but not too much or you'll be bursting out of your clothes - or your skin." Cassie teased.

"An exploding Mary.....yuuuck" Siobhan said with mock disgust at which point the children started for what was for them a fascinating discussion about how

much McDonalds they could each eat without exploding.

"Looks like me and you are together, Cassie love, whether we like it or not." smiled Roisin.

"Well why didn't you tell us before, mum, you're mean keeping a secret.....and Cassie" Siobhan said. "Do we call you Cassie, I mean out of dance class?"

"Cassie is just fine." Cassie said with total warmth and sincerity as she tried to brush her hair straight from the haystack it had become. She and Roisin

couldn't believe her ears that blink once and all the barriers that seemed

insurmountable had melted away as if by magic.

"We're not going to lose Lauren ...and Nikki and Helen." Siobhan said in sudden fear.

"Of course not," both chimed in together. They explained that they owed them so much and they all need good friends, in fact quite the opposite.

"Mum, your face is bruised. It's time you went to hospital. come on, I'm the doctor and Cassie, you're my nurse and Mary and Lauren, you can be nurses also."

Cassie trailed good naturedly after the determined childish hand clutching onto her.

Helen looked at all this silently from above smiling with satisfaction at the scene below and that Cassie and Roisin had finally come home. she went into

the loo.

"Nikki, who's been smoking here," she said in an accusing voice at which point Nikki said, oh shit, she'll have to smoke out the window next time and it

can't possibly be morning, she did love her lie ins but that's had it now with an awake Helen on the loose.

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Roisin was leaning back in a comfortable garden chair in the back garden amongst the abundant greenery.

It seemed like a ghastly intrusion into the lovely day outside but Cassie had to ask Roisin what had happened last night. In her mind in that second, Roisin

was transported from the sunlit peace and calm to the cold and dark and fear.

"By the time I'd phoned you, I'd been frightened out of my skin by Aiden drunk and aggressive and he'd hit me. What was worse was the sight of him swaying

around incoherent in front of the children. That brought back childhood nightmares when I was Mary and no child should have to go through that. In those

days you took it and the family suffered behind closed doors." Roisin started crying at that point and Cassie put her arms around her. Nikki's face was

edged with horror and sympathy for her.

Roisin fought for control at that point. She had to tell it like it was to bring the nightmare to the surface and hopefully exorcise it and move on.

"I stayed upstairs for a bit but in the end I had to go down and see what sort of a mess had gone and he'd knocked things all over the place. Then he started

crying and saying that he really loved me and asked me to remember the way things had been back in Ireland and for the sake of the children, we ought to

move back to Ireland and start a new life together, that's where things had gone wrong. He kept on talking and talking as if he was trying to hypnotise

me and, now I see it more clearly, using every emotional trick in the book. I had this clear vision of you, Cassie in front of me in my mind, and I had

to tell him finally that it's over, He asked me why and I told him that he was unliveable with and I had someone who I was in love with."

"Did he ask for any details." Nikki said quietly. "That was very brave of you." She had felt all through Roisin's story as if someone had walked over her

grave.

"He kept on asking me and asking me. In the end he lost his temper and made a lunge for me. He missed and, as he was sprawled on the floor, I noticed a

love bite on the side of his neck."

Roisin then explained that this had broken the spell Aiden had been trying to weave round her. How many times had he done this before on 'lads night out',

she asked him. The argument ran on interminably with accusations and unconvincing denials. Finally Roisin told him she was getting a lift for herself and

her children and his things. She advised him not to make a disturbance as did he want the world to know about the other side of 'respectable' Aiden Connor.

That was the reason you never heard a sound when you called to pick us up, Roisin told Nikki.

"What is he likely to do now." Cassie asked.

"He'll go back to his mother. For all his fine words, he's been pulling away from me for some time but he couldn't say it straight or try and make things

better. And anyway, I've got Cassie now." smiled Roisin broadly giving the other woman a big hug.

Roisin had been talking with her eyes half closed as if not seeing the real world. Her eyes opened wide and the sunshine came back into her world and the

smiling fair haired woman who was in the here and now and the future. She was emotionally back home and safe at last.

They strolled back into the living room where Helen had brought the children downstairs where she had been playing some sort of game. Cassie was studying

Nikki closely as the thought crossed her mind that she was going into unknown territory as second mum, she needed to see how Nikki did it. While she was

bold and brash by nature, it interested her to see the tranquil serenity and wide open eyes that she faced the outside world. Outside her dance class,

Cassie had said things to shock, including her sexuality while Nikki just faced the world with that level gaze and just was, a mannerism that Lauren was

picking up on. She admired Nikki and figured out that in the painful business of growing up, Nikki was further along the line than she was. In a similar

way, she felt comfortable with Helen's more boisterous outgoing nature and figured them as close friends and people she could learn off.

Upstairs Roisin had looked picked up a well thumbed book of Nikki's called "Steppenwolf" by Hermann Hesse and a page fell open and she read "It was curious

and mysterious to know, when I was with Maria again, that she had held Hermine in her arms just as she had held me: that she had felt, kissed, tasted and

tested her limbs, her hair and skin the same way as mine. New, indirect and complicated relations rose above me, new possibilities in love and life." She

had talked to Nikki earlier on who smiled and said that the book was as a whole about self discovery in general, there was a bit more than that passage

in the book. Looking at the preface, Roisin found it intriguing that a book was written by a German guy in the 1920s and what he wrote about, she had experienced

with Cassie. She was intrigued with the way that it was written in an unembarrassed curiously modern way, in a period set decades back in time . More to

the point, the openness and understanding was far removed from her own constrained traditional Irish background that she had left far behind with Aiden.

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Cassie looked around in contemplation around her flat. She mentally said farewell to the free single life where she could come and go as she pleased. Once

she had left home, she didn't have parents disapproving of her lifestyle and having to discreetly sneak her girlfriend of the moment in while her parents

were out. Coming back to get pissed with a crowd of people in outside her dance class existence was going to be part of her past, her "used to do that"

thing to reminisce about. But did the self centred life really suit what she was really about? Not when she remembered the feelings of isolation, boredom

and non attachment, though she had denied them at the time. Especially not now Roisin came into her life.

She smiled at her mother's repeated words that "one day, Cassie, you'll want to settle down, get married and have children. You don't know it, Cassie, but

mark my words, it will come to you in time." How she had laughed at her mother with a derisive 'as if'. Well, she had to smile to herself that she was

now doing something like her mother predicted but events shuffled out of order and not quite what her mother had in mind.

Nothing for it now but to pack everything up in packing cases and carrier bags, to scoop up all the remnants of her past life and to drive it over to Roisin's

house where her future life was going to start. When the flat was empty of her personal things and personality, it would be ready for the next 'single

and free' man or woman to take over.

It was hard work but only a few hours work had all her belongings ready in the transit van she had hired for the day, to drop the key in on the landlord

and thank him for putting up with her wayward life and turn the back on her past.

Roisin and the children were waiting for her

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Roisin, Cassie Siobhan and Mary had been really reluctant to head for home as the atmosphere was so welcoming and soothed the trauma of the previous night

away. As the day wore on, Roisin was increasingly nagged by the thought of what Aiden had been up to, let loose in her house, funny that Aiden by that

one word, was labelled a stranger and, when Cassie moved in, it would be 'theirs.' Helen and Nikki had been marvellous throughout the day and both Roisin

and Cassie made a mental note for "foursome out for a drink" when they could. The children were at their best and playful and scampering around the place.

Nikki could see Roisin fidgeting and suggested that Roisin was obviously nervous and suggested why. The last thing she wanted to do was drive them away

as Lauren was kept busy and entertained with Siobhan and Mary. Nikki was quite able to carry on with jobs and be the host and friend.

Soon they were off in Roisin's car while the afternoon sun shone low over the trees, heading for home.

"You'll be OK to help out with Saturday dance classes, Roisin," Cassie asked quietly and Roisin nodded. How absurdly easy it was now to make simple decisions

like these that Roisin had now broken up with Aiden. Cassie was chatting business stuff to Roisin to lighten things for the moment of truth in facing what

had happened to her, no their, home.

As they pulled up outside their house and paused a second before getting out of the car, they could see Di Barker waving from the window and came out of

her front door headed in their direction.

"Roisin, Aiden left me a message that he had to go over suddenly to his mother's because there was a problem in the family. Poor man, he looked so upset.

I hoped everything is all right?"

Di's wide eyes were looking searchingly at Roisin to enlarge on it so that she could do her Marge Proops routine and offer advice. She waited a full three

minutes before catching sight of Cassie and asked, "Is she your friend or your sister. I don't think we've met before."

Roisin thought in a flash, typical Aiden, put on a nice appearance in front of the neighbours and what a cover up so no one knows and his reputation is

intact. What should I have expected differently, she thought bitterly to herself but in a way that distanced him from her, the last real thought she had

of him.

" Cassie, meet Di Barker. Cassie's come over to help.........The front door's open, excuse me Di but I'd better see what is going on."

Cassie was mightily relieved that Roisin wasn't going to be foolish enough to expect her to hold up a convincing Irish accent for more than two seconds.

Also seeing the front door ajar, she used this to rush off with Roisin and the children up to the house.

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The atmosphere of the house was chill and strangely unwelcoming when Roisin crossed the threshold and then she had a shock.

Inside the living room, things were turned upside down, the TV on its side, all sort of familiar ornaments piled onto the floor. Empty cans of lager were

littered around in the front room. This wasn't the house as she knew it.

"Jesus Christ, Roisin." Cassie said with horror. "What the hell's happened here"

Siobhan and Mary started crying at this point and both Roisin and Cassie instinctively went in their direction to comfort them, Cassie not even thinking

should she leave that sort of thing to Roisin. Something in the children's eyes expressed a 'thank you' to Cassie who, in turn, felt tender and protective

towards them, even at a moment like this.

"We'd better see the worst, you guys and we'd better get clearing up.....if that's all right with you," Cassie pitched it casually so as not to seem too

pushy or insensitive and the others silently agreed.

Roisin took the risk of turning the lights on and drawing the curtains to make it look less bare. The kitchen was less disturbed but this was foreign territory

to Aiden. Going upstairs, Roisin went to the bedroom she had slept in and that was the worst. A few pictures of Roisin and Aiden had been savagely hurled

across the room and broken glass was everywhere - that said it all. Looking in the wardrobes, Aiden had cleared everything of his out and her own clothes

were strewn in a pile on the floor. Roisin started to cry at that point and Cassie put her arms round her and only later on did she think for a second

what the children might have thought if things were different.

"Mum, we can clear all this up. You don't have to do this all your own....and Cassie will help, won't you, Cassie" and a pair of eyes were trained in her

direction.

"Bet your life on it, Siobhan," Cassie said in joking easy tones but the children knew this was for real. "We'd better check your bedrooms, children," Cassie

added.

With a breath of relief, the bedroom had been untouched though whether this was for regard for the children or whether Aiden was too drunk to notice, Roisin

cynically debated within herself.

"You're in charge, Roache." Cassie said diplomatically and hastily added ".........and the children and me as well. Where do we start?"

The farthest reaches of the house were scoured for cloths, cleaning stuff while Cassie volunteered to give Siobhan a hand to straighten the TV and the little

girl was touched that Cassie 'came down' to her level. By some miracle, the TV was undamaged, it was switched on and the inconsequential sounds of children's

TV made things sound normal. Mary, though she was little, helped to tidy up the bedroom that was to be Roisin's and Cassie's though at one point, she tried

to tidy up a big quilt and got tangled up in it.

"Never mind, my baby." Roisin rescued her and kissed her on the top of her head.

"Cup of coffee, Roache," Cassie shouted up the stairs and put a mug of steaming hot coffee on the top of the staircase before diving down to give the kitchen

a quick once over.

Aiden's rampaging around, fortunately had broken not much more than fragile ornaments and pictures. Roisin found the smashed wedding pictures of herself

and Aiden and after clearing up the class, laid the photo frames face downwards. There seemed no point in putting them out on display as what was the point?

"We've done so well, everyone" Roisin beamed at the tidied up house. "like a real family". And the words hung in the air when she had said something that

was permanent and lasting.

"I'm tired out," Cassie said.

"It's time the two mums went to bed" Siobhan said in her best Roisin impersonation, speaking very severely. Mary joined in saying in a concerned voice that

they looked tired out and you'll feel so much better in the morning with a good nights sleep.

Roisin was about to protest when Siobhan insisted and that she and Mary for one night would look after the house and get themselves to bed.

Cassie looked at the slight smirk on Siobhan's face and knew that this display of bossiness was kindly meant and their way of thanking her and Roisin.

"Come on, Roache. Got to please the children sometimes." Cassie said as Siobhan was physically propelling Roisin out the door.

"All right, my babies but one night only" Roisin said, half smiling. "But I think we can get undressed by ourselves."

Siobhan told them they would be up in ten minutes to tuck them up in bed and don't worry about them.

When they were upstairs, the phone rang and Mary answered the phone and told a concerned Helen that everything was fine and both the mummies are in bed

as they are old and get easily tired and she and Siobhan are looking after the house and not to worry. Mary was thanked for them being good to them and

that Helen was sure everything was just fine.

"I can't believe it, Cassie. Tucked up in bed by my, sorry our, children, read a bedtime story by them so sweetly and the light turned off so they can play

'grown ups' and watch TV. Have we got to be a bit careful and not make it too obvious." Roisin finished in a worried tone.

"Roisin Connor, those two bright children know bloody well what we're going to get up to." grinned Cassie broadly. "Why do you think they made a point of

saying what long film they are going to watch and why is the TV on a bit loud. After these last few days, we might as well start out the way we mean to

continue. Now if we untuck the bed a bit and make a bit more space instead of being crammed in like sardines......".

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"All right, Nikki, I've been fidgeting these last few hours wondering how Cassie and Roisin have got on. Even Lauren could see how much Roisin was starting

to worry about her house and what they were going to find and that was why they suddenly shot off."

"Even Lauren", sniffed Lauren disdainfully," I though of it long before you two slow people."

"All right." grinned Helen at the rebuke, "lets cut out the crap and I'll phone up and see how they're going on" .

Helen picked up the phone and her grin became wider as she heard Mary's childish voice sounding so poised and mature and in charge of the house. She'd been

a cute little thing in Siobhan's boisterous but protective shadow that for her to come out of herself was an experience, something Helen had not seen before.

"Good news, everyone. Everything sounds fine with Aiden out of the way. And you'll never believe it, Nikki but those two children are playing grown ups

and chaperone to Cassie's and Roisin's first night together under their own roof."

While Nikki fell about laughing at that one, Lauren said in a very composed and sophisticated tone. "Oh good. So our little plan worked."

"So that's what you three were plotting together, Lauren.....well done anyway. You all definitely did the right thing. "Helen looked down on her child in

a mixture of gentle amusement, pride and real respect. The child's growing up, she thought, and I can see both me and Nikki in her but she's her own person

too and that's all we really wanted from the day she came into our world.

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"You won't be long, Cassie", Roisin asked.

"All I've got to do is to pick up a transit van and pack my stuff into it and bring it all home, Roache........."

"And say goodbye to a part of your life." Roisin realised exactly what she was doing. Cassie looked her in the eye and knew what she was thinking. She put

it like she was moving on from her past to be with her. She had no regrets though a bit of her was nervous at taking on responsibilities but the major

half of her felt that that was where her life belonged.

"I'll be back soon, hon." Cassie smiled and kissed her.

Roisin and the children waved her off as she got behind the wheel of a white Ford Transit that seemed to swallow her petite shape up but she drove off confidently.

Roisin realised that her 'go getting' nature was the long missing presence that pulled her family together.

She thought back to when she first enrolled her children at dance class and she came, nervous and unsure, into this hall where Miss Tyler seemed to radiate

confidence around her. She had that rather strained polite smile for the more pushy, busybody parents who wanted the best for their child and the more

nervous unsure parents who stumbled with the complexities of the timetable. At that stage, she hung back not daring to speak to her. She thought of her

then as no more than a dance teacher who was a much younger, more fashionably dressed version than the female dragons of her childhood who were exacting

and sergeant majorish in their approach. The dancing had given her a measure of confidence as she grew up at the expense of the old style teachers who,

in and out of school, demanded unthinking conformity. When she was young, she accepted it all without protest until she began to dance as a living and

was caught up for a while in a more free thinking unconventional world. Well, she had gone back to her teenage years in a new way by falling in love with

that same dance teacher who now she saw with such different eyes. She was Cassie who had softened her manner and was more patient and gentle and whom the

children warmed to. Cassie's initial uncertainty with the children made her more human and fallible and attractive because of that but she had to admire

the way she found her way through those uncertainties.

The loud sound of the phone jangled its way through her reminiscences.

"Mrs Connor here," and the latest female dragon, Aiden's mother came on the line "what have you done to my son in the way you've treated him" And Roisin

was subjected to a tirade of abuse and, how could she treat her children, to deprive her children of a father who had done so much for the family. Now

I know where Aiden gets his personality from, Roisin thought, and it's time to stand up to her.

"Now look here, we're not talking the same language or the same marriage, Mrs Connor. There is so much you don't know I could talk all night but one thing,

have you asked your precious son about getting drunk and smashing up the house before he left and the love bite on his neck? Now if you excuse me, I've

got work to do." And with that, she put the phone down.

"Was that was Grandma, mum ? Don't worry as Cassie will be home soon and will make it all better" said Mary and took her by the hand.

Roisin felt such a burst of affection for Cassie and their children that tears came to her eyes and, no, it wasn't tears of sadness but of happiness.

They took it in turns to peep out the window till at last the white van came up the road and gradually stopped instead of Cassie's normal dramatic screech

of tyres stop due to the breakables in the back.

Her carrying voice called out that she was home and then she picked up on Roisin being more tense than she expected and Roisin told Cassie of the phone

call.

Cassie suppressed the first impulse to eff and blind Aiden and his mother. This is going to be the first round of a nasty battle between them and the family

as she automatically slipped into the habit of thinking.

"I don't know, Roache. This is going to be nasty as it is and when they find out about me, it could get worse. "

She nearly talked about Aiden's mother freaking out that two out dykes were bringing up her grandchildren only she realised that Roisin wasn't going to

jump for joy at being described that way let alone in relation to Aiden and her mother. She managed to stop herself in time and softened the whole thing.

"Didn't you say Nikki has a brother who's a solicitor. I think we're going to need one to figure out where we stand on this one. If he's anything like Nikki,

then he is going to be what we need- and Nikki and Helen as well. Don't worry, hon, we're not on our own. Come on, give me a hand to pack my stuff."

Cassie's soothing but practical words brought her off the sudden blinding peak of panic that had overtaken her and, yes, it was going to be hard but not

impossible.

Roisin reached out for the more immediate attraction of helping Cassie with her cases and planning out where they were going to fit in their bedroom. Both

drew a smile of satisfaction to see the transformed room complete with Cassie's own styles added in. It felt like home now.


	3. Chapter 3

DISCLAIMER: All the characters used within this story are the property of Shed Productions. I am using them solely to explore my creative ability.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This fic is an idea I dreamed up that I thought I'd kick off with a Roisin character (nervous look over his shoulder at Joanna), no idea

who'll enter the picture and no idea of where it is going

Normal Mothers

By

Richard

Part Three

"Tell me how you're getting on with Cassie and your mum." Lauren asked Siobhan one night when Lauren was stopping over.

"well, it's different." Siobhan spoke slowly trying to bring her thoughts together, "Mum's so much happier and not so stressed out. "she said brightly.

"It's like a different house, I don't have to tiptoe around so much and get scared in case there's a shouting match...I don't mean mum." Siobhan stumbled.

"You're wondering what to call the person who used to be your dad." Lauren said quietly. "I'm sorry," she added as Siobhan burst into tears, "I didn't know

what to call him." Lauren's heart went out to the other girl who underneath her brash exterior had bottled up a lot of confusion.

Siobhan was confused as the man who was her dad had not ever been a real father and always got it wrong and mum was lost out all the time trying to 'keep

the peace'. She loved her mum but wished she'd stood up for herself and the children earlier than she did. It wasn't right to talk about an 'ex father'

as fathers and mothers are there to be loved, everyone knows that, but her dad..Aiden..her dad..Aiden..hadn't acted in a way to deserve her love, so she

explained to Lauren who wisely hadn't pressed the point. If Aiden walks out of her life, then he's to blame because if he really loved her, he'd visit

her, and Mary too, despite leaving mum and not loving her. Cassie is a second mum, she got that from Lauren like Nikki was for Lauren.

It was easier in a way for Lauren. ever since she could remember, Nikki and Helen were part of her life and who put her to bed or played with her didn't

matter, She loved hearing mum sing around the house and her outgoing fun loving character and equally loved Nikki's quiet way of treating her as a grown

up and soothing her if she got frightened. It took her a bit to realise that in one way, her house was not 'normal' but instinctively realised that as

long as her family was happy, it did not matter. This wasn't the same for Siobhan.

"Cassie's lovely," Siobhan said with wide open eyes. "She's so different than when she teaches us dance as she's so, so...I can't think of the words," as

she smiled.

Then she started crying again as she told Lauren her story. She'd been stressed out that someone had started spreading it around that her dad had left her

and didn't he love her enough. She couldn't say what had really happened and she came home in a bad mood with mum and started picking an argument with

mum for no reason, I was just saying it. Cassie flew at her saying that you don't talk to mum like that and I told her you're not my mum. Cassie ran out

of the room in tears and mum sent me upstairs. I felt so terrible at what I'd done I was crying and felt so bad. There was a little knock on the door and

Cassie looked round the door. She was trying to smile but I could tell she'd been crying. I thought she was going to start lecturing me so I went into

the corner.

"You were thinking Aiden was still there" said Lauren and Siobhan nodded.

Cassie was lovely as she said we ought to both make a promise, she would try not to act the dance teacher at home and I wasn't going to tell her she wasn't

her mum. I gave her a big hug and told her she was the best mum in the world...well as good as Roisin mum. Then we both had an attack of the giggles we

couldn't stop. I never knew she could be so sweet that way.

Then mum, mum came upstairs and I told her I was really really sorry and explained what had happened. They were both listening really hard, not when I'd

try and say something to.......Aiden....and he'd only tell me what it was like growing up in that horrid Ireland he goes on so much about. They said they'd

talk to the school about it.

"They both really mean it, Siobhan" Lauren said quietly.

Mary put her arms round me and said I was the best sister in the world and that set me crying again. Mary was dead cute as she said she wanted me to be

happy, not to cry.

Lauren explained that if ever she got confused or stressed out with things, then she's only to pick up the phone and talk to her as she's about the only

friend in the same situation as Siobhan. And she'd better watch out for Mary as she won't be a cute little child forever.

"You're the best friend in the world, Lauren." Siobhan told her." Lets go down and watch telly. We don't have to sit through those football matches anymore,

Lauren." and Siobhan was back to her boisterous self, pulling Lauren by the arm and nearly off the bed.

Cassie was downstairs taking a turn to cook dinner while Roisin had a rest which, to her was a novel experience.

"Everything all right, children," she asked brightly. "Cassie's got dinner ready in a little while."

"I'm sure everything is fine, Roisin," Lauren looking at Roisin with Nikki's level gaze with that deliberate emphasis that Roisin found immensely reassuring

from someone who acted double her age in maturity and she felt to be a solid force for good.

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"I can't believe what happened," Roisin said that night when she lay in bed with Cassie. "you did so brilliantly that night with Siobhan."

"Don't remind me, Roache." Cassie winced at the memory. "I'd thought I'd really messed up with her, bigtime."

"You were great, Cassie, "Roisin spoke from the heart. "the way you came down to the children's level. For years and years, they couldn't talk as Aiden

would talk at them, never listen to them, or he'd make me responsible for anything that went wrong. Siobhan's on your side for life....and Mary too. I

still can't get over having another mother around, it feels so good."

"I think we ought to have a word with the school. Think how the kids will be if the full truth comes out, we ought to get in first."

Roisin nodded as the worries that she was having about the full implications of things were starting to hit her. They needed to see a solicitor to "end

her marriage bollocks" as Roisin put it. It had been limping along for years now she came to think of it. Until she'd met Cassie, she had suppressed everything

and kept on struggling through for the present.

"And another thing I've got is the best lover in the world." Roisin smiled. Downstairs in the daytime, she'd seen Cassie as the other person, the parent

the same way Cassie saw her, in the way they related to the children. At night time when all was quiet and still and the children were asleep, Cassie became

the ideal lover of her dreams. She could see Cassie's tousled fair hair and the faint outline of the body that she could feel and everything felt possible.

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"Roache, she's not going to bite you. She's only a headteacher." Cassie said as Roisin as she nervously adjusted her smartest trouser suit and blouse and

looked for any specs. She knew that Roisin had this ingrained fear of authority that she grew up. Roisin realised that the headteacher, Mrs Walker, was

really young and friendly but she couldn't shake off that ingrained attitude that easily.

They both put on their glassily bright smiles for Di as she put the wheelie bin out, coincidentally at that time. It was only a short way to the school,

through a side door and along the narrow corridors to the headmistress's study.

"Come in, take a seat", Claire Walker said to the two women, one nervous and the other, 'look you in the eye' confident. something told her not to question

why both were there after years of just Roisin there. The Mr Connor was a shadowy figure that was never seen unlike other parents where husbands realised

that it was their job too.

" I suppose you wanted to talk about how your children are getting on or is there anything in particular." Claire said pleasantly and on getting a nod she

said that Siobhan is doing well enough in her work but her form teacher has been worried for quite some time how quiet she is and withdrawn. Other children

will chatter on about their family and do little stories in their English about how their parents took them on holiday or just an outing for the day but

Siobhan and Mary say as little as they can. It was especially worrying about Mary as, at her age, children will chatter away without becoming self conscious.

Recently, she had got the feeling that they were being picked on. Claire asked them if there is anything worrying them? She said tactfully that this will

help them help the children.

Roisin's anxiety level jumped skywards when Claire Walker mentioned about their children being picked on. If the heasdteacher had noticed this, was Siobhan's

wobbler the other night just the tip of an iceberg? If that were the case, she would blame herself for not knowing what she should have done.

"Exactly what's been the trouble," Cassie asked quietly, being equally fearful that she had inadvertently brought trouble on the children, However the scary

thing had to be brought out into the daylight. She put her hand on Roisin's seeing her visible distress.

"It's not that bad, Mrs Connor" Claire said in a soothing tone. "It's just that there was some talk of their father, your husband, leaving home. Most of

the children at the school are well behaved but there is the occasional bully who'll pick on anyone vulnerable. That sort of bully is the one coming from

a disturbed or broken family, not like your two " finished Claire with a reassuring smile.

That last gesture made Roisin think, 'in for a penny, in for a pound'. There will never be a better moment than this. Fighting down the ghosts of past frightening

authorities, Roisin gave voice.

"That's part of why we wanted to talk to you, Mrs Walker....." ",,,call me Claire, don't worry...."

"I have split up with Aiden and he left home..." and Roisin tried to think was it only that recently he left as Cassie felt she'd been around for ages...."

"I's had a marriage on the rocks for years and, Cassie Tyler here, has come into my life.......we're partners."

Time seemed suspended as both of them were hyper conscious of Claire's reaction and she said the best possible thing that so long the children were happy

that was the main thing and you did the right thing in coming forward early as together, we can put the lid on any bullying. She said she had strong views

about ignorant hostile labelling of people when it wasn't deserved and if you, Cassie, are willing to step straight into this sort of stepparent situation,

you must be pretty committed.

Roisin sank back in her chair in astonished gratitude and Cassie let her more brash exterior guard down and gave a heartfelt thank you. Just for once, she

was stuck for words.

"It's not a new situation as I've got a friend I've known for yonks, since we were at school in fact, who's in the same situation. She's called Helen Stewart

and with her partner Nikki Wade are bring up the stablest brightest child I've known."

"Lauren." both Roisin and Cassie said in unison.

Claire went on to say Helen was her best friend at school at a time when she was shy and easily picked on and Helen stuck up for her, even with fists if

need be. It was down to her that she became more confident which is why she will come down very hard on any bullying once she had the full picture. Cassie

sat with her mouth open, totally convinced by Claire's sincerity. At the back of her mind, she was prepared for polite nothings and vague mission statements

but this was the real thing.

"You did absolutely the right thing in coming to see me so quick. Something like this could go on with teachers not knowing of a child's misery because

everything is kept under wraps. So long as we keep each other posted, things will work out."

They were touched by Claire's use of the word 'we' and that they were positively valued. Claire went on to say that in their day, schools were closed institutions

with parents kept at bay.

"I hope I see both of you at the parent teacher's meeting coming up shortly. It's for both parents and not just the housewife. We do a nice line in tea

and biscuits and I'll make sure that your children's form teacher talks to both of you."

Claire went on to say briefly that Mary had a nice line in English writing and in the past Siobhan had been enthusiastic and energetic but she had been

going through a withdrawn stage which she was starting to come out of "That might be your doing, Cassie" Claire said with a smile in her direction. It

was interesting to see the 'other side' of their children's lives, they thought.

They look their leave eventually as they could see Claire had other work to do and sneaked down the corridors in case they were spotted.

Once out into the bright sunlight, they were over the moon and, as Roisin had had the morning off, they stole secretly back to their own house.

Once again they smiled brightly at Di as she waved at them and tiptoes upstairs.

"Roache, why the hell are we tiptoeing up the staircase of our own house in case non existent children are around and might be disturbed?"

Roisin collapsed into an attack of the giggles which Cassie joined in as they made their way to the bedroom while their children slaved industriously over

a red hot desk. Chances of the two of them being totally alone were going to come rarely which added greatly to them making the best of their chances.

Besides, Cassie said much later in Roisin's arms, we've had the morning off for their benefit, we owe this to ourselves and Roisin agreed, for once her

feelings of guilt nowhere to be felt.

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"Mum, is it dance lesson next Saturday," Lauren asked Helen who smiled and nodded. There had been a dance class half term break while Roisin's break-up

with Aiden had taken place and she and Siobhan and Mary had taken to watching the flickering screen of Saturday TV which was OK to veg out to but all of

them liked a bit of a challenge.

Lauren grabbed the tape of the "Music for ballet Grade" music and hunted out her dance outfit and soon the tinkling sounds could be heard and the kitchen

was commandeered because it was fairly spacious and had a hard surface. Helen and Nikki tolerantly worked round Lauren (and Siobhan and Mary when they

were round).

"Is it true Roisin is taking up dance teaching?" Lauren asked and on Nikki confirming it, Lauren said that was fine for her. Lauren shushed them and exiled

Nikki and Helen elsewhere to the rest of the house as she wanted to practice on her own. A half hour later, an exhausted Lauren flopped down on a comfy

armchair. She carried on the conversation where she'd left off by adding that Siobhan and Mary were pleased for their mum but glad that she was taking

the grade below them in the class before theirs as they would be so embarrassed before all the others in the class that their mum was teaching them.

"What horrible children," Helen said jokingly. "But what about Cassie."

"Well, Miss Tyler's different," smiled Lauren and added on a more serious note. "And it's better they bother about that and not worry about having two mums."

Both Nikki and Helen agreed on that and they were both conscious that Roisin and Cassie looked to them on how to live a life new to them and they were only

too willing to help.

"How did you get on last time stopping over, Lauren." Nikki asked her quietly and Lauren said that the house had changed out of all recognition. There was

the same sort of warmth that she felt here and Roisin was able to be herself, more relaxed and less apologetic. At last everyone can talk even if Cassie

and Siobhan had had a bit of a bust up once.

"Don't worry, Nikki." Lauren said seeing Nikki's concern and speaking in a quietly confident tone. "Siobhan's been getting it at school and took it out

of Cassie. Cassie and she made up, she's doing OK. Besides, I told Siobhan if she has any worries, then she's only to phone me."

Lauren smiled to herself as Nikki had that whole souled 'my wonderful daughter' look on her face.

"If I've been such a wonderful daughter, can I stop up late with you and see that programme I've wanted to see." Lauren asked with a grin on her face and

pleading eyes. "You can put in a good word with mum who's a bit scarily strict."

Nikki grinned at herself for walking straight into that one and promised she and Helen would talk it over but none of this 'waking the dead' rattiness for

school next day. Promise, Lauren?

Later on Lauren was snuggled up between them on the settee in her dressing gown feeling content with life while Nikki and Helen had the unexpected pleasure

of watching something they all watched. Lauren better not be a dead lump of wood unable to separate herself from bed the next day though.........

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"You'll be all right, children, for the half hour while I take the beginner's class." Roisin asked anxiously while she was changing ready into her recently

bought dance outfit. She was nervous that she was able to explain the basic dance routines to the beginners class she was taking on and that her own dancing

was up to standard. Right through her life, she had always worried that she was good enough being quite oblivious that when she was first learning dance,

all the others wished they were as good as she was. The evidence of the written comments on her grade exams stared her in the face and yet she refused

to truly believe.

"Roache," Cassie said calmly. "listen to what the children are saying. They'll be fine in the dance changing rooms and they believe in you like I do."

Exchanged glances between Cassie and the children told them that Roisin had steeled her nerves now with this last bit of little encouragement and she would

be fine. Roisin had a natural way with children and the rest would flow naturally.

For the first time now it was the four of them going off to dance and that first day, the brightness of the sun seemed especially radiant and the shadows

cast were sharp edged. It was the start of another normal day.

At the dance studio, Roisin introduced herself to the mothers who were busy helping their children get changed and Siobhan and Mary sat a bit out of the

way with magazines they were reading so as not to crowd Roisin. Cassie had another lesson to teach in another room and smiled at Roisin to say that, you'll

be fine, saying casually, I'll come down and take over the next class when you're done, whenever you're ready. Siobhan was dying to boss her mother and

push her into the main studio room but held back as Roisin was there in her persona of 'a new teacher', not a pupil's mum. Roisin looked all around her

and felt that her natural way with children would pull her through and all the little children whom even Mary thought were little and cute in comparison,

followed her through. They could hear Roisin's clear tones as she spoke and the music start and knew she was well away.

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A radiant Roisin burst out of the studio as the little children thanked 'Mrs Connor' to stroll over with Nikki and Helen to the club while Cassie took over

the next class and the throngs of children and parents from the two groups went their separate direction.

"No need to ask how the class went, Roisin." smiled Nikki. "As you know. dancing isn't my flavour. I just help carry Lauren's dance stuff and sit around

drinking in the club but I knew you'd make it."

Roisin was up high with the thrill of achievement and the magical change from wanting to see her own ambitions of the past realised through her children

to doing it herself. The whole half hour had passed like magic and she really was a dancer and to feel that positive about herself was like some heady

cocktail.

Nikki was happy for Roisin and for the contrast between the worn out, half asleep Roisin of a short time ago and the magically alive Roisin on such a natural

high. She was so obviously finding herself. The three of them were so busy chattering away that they never noticed the man entering the club heading in

their direction.

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Roisin was the first to see and, mid laugh, the shock was overpowering.

"Aiden. What are you doing here"

"Roisin, love. We have to talk."

Aiden was looking at Roisin with a pleading look in his eyes, that made Roisin very stressed out. Her first thought was to fall into the line of thinking

that he was trying to enmesh Roisin in and had done when there were previous arguments and, on the rare occasions she stood her ground, she felt sorry

for him, they'd made up and everything would be better. And it was...till the next time. and that's how Mary came into this world. However, it was just

that bit too late and she flashbacked to the last time she saw him and to the present with Cassie's face in front of her.

"I don't have to do anything, Aiden. I have choices."

Nikki and Helen looked anxiously at each other wondering what to do at this minute. Nikki and Helen had had a run in with a drunken abusive Aiden when he

called at their house but this Aiden was showing another side of him and the expression, 'Irish blarney' jumped into her mind. Because of this, they held

back from their first instinct to give him a piece of their mind. Besides, it was for Roisin to stand up to him, they couldn't do it for her.

"I know you don't have to see me, Roisin love but we were made for each other. We were put into this world to be with each other." And right there before

the others in the club, he started to spiel away till Roisin stopped him.

"No no no, Aiden, this isn't going to happen. We don't have to be together. Our marriage was over years ago. Come on, we're going into the quiet room and

talk, not in front of everyone else but I want you Nikki and Helen to be with me."

"Do we have to talk about our private affairs before your friends," Aiden started to raise his voice. "Can't I get a private audience?"

Nikki Helen and Roisin's hearts were racing. Roisin was so very nearly agreeing out of ingrained politeness, 'to be fair', to let Aiden talk to her on her

own when she thought, why does he deserve fair treatment? He'd been gone weeks now, no phone call (apart from his mother) no offer to give his children

money, no nothing and now he decides he wants her back and she is supposed to fall in line. She has the right to make terms and somehow she'd grasped and

held onto the courage to confront Aiden and in so doing, all the past authority symbols that she had learned to be afraid of. Roisin was almost perversely

grateful for him turning up so she could confront him, and at the same time all her fears.

Helen and Nikki had hesitated that fraction of a second from offering out of politeness to let Aiden and Roisin talk in private but Roisin took that out

of their hands in the nick of time. They felt dizzy with the magnitude of the colossal mistake they were teetering on the edge of falling into.

Nikki saw with increasing contempt how quick to anger Aiden was when his spiel had failed.

"Looks like we're along for the ride, Aiden. You heard what Roisin said." There was a menacing smile on her face as though Nikki was calm, there were hidden

fires about her that were dangerous to rouse.

Once in the private room which was quieter, Roisin told Aiden that she'll be honest, she has the love of someone who treats her as she should be and more

honest than he could ever be.

"Who is this other man. I demand to know who's taken my wife and children. Surely I have a right to know?"

"Keep your voice down, Aiden. Does the whole club have to hear you shouting at the top of your voice."

Aiden turned with anger to Nikki asking why such an interfering woman has to be around and Nikki said, remember, we've been the ones that Roisin's kids

have stopped over at the same Roisin has done for ours.

"What have you got to do with it? The only woman that has done that has been someone called Helen."

An instinct dormant in Nikki to shock and provoke urged her to tell this obviously mind blinkered man to say they were a pair of dykes each bent on getting

off with any woman they fancied but she fought that back and mildly said they were partners, in the non business sense.

"You mean you're lesbians," he said in a shocked tone, looking at Nikki in that blindly judgmental way that will never learn. He was taken totally aback

from what he had seen as the 'normal looking' Helen in particular. Nikki thought she had wasted her words in being tactful.

"Indeed I am glad I stopped your daughter from staying over that night with my daughters." Aiden went on to say." I knew I did the right thing at the time

the sort of family your daughter comes from."

That was a big mistake as, at that point, Helen asked him angrily how dare he talk that way about their daughter and that they are ordinary respectable

people who don't come home totally drunk and trash the house as he did, last time they saw him.

"Ah, that was lads night out, you wouldn't understand that sort of thing being the sort of unnatural women you are."

An icy Nikki said, yes she had some experience of men, not close up but she couldn't remember her brother ever being as an out of control drunk as he is

and he should grow up, get a brain cell and he'd see that she and Helen are a perfectly normal couple .

If there was anything capable of firing Roisin up, it was Aiden's insult to her friends, their child and the memory of her own children's tears when Aiden

stopped Lauren coming round, and how Lauren had stuck by her almost as a friend and not just as a child.

"No way am I ever coming back to you, Aiden. I want a divorce. And I'm seeking custody of the children and maintenance."

"And I suppose with the company you're keeping in turning you away from our marriage that you're the same as these two...women." Aiden trumpeted though

careful not to use 'that' word again.

"You can suppose what you like, Aiden, see you in the divorce courts."

Roisin was in mid flow when the elderly barman came into the room and asked 'the ladies' to keep their voices down. He knows they are from the dance class

across the road and are welcome guests of the club but this man, pointing less approvingly at Aiden, isn't known to him, unless they can speak for him,

at which point, Roisin said he's no more welcome to her than he is to him, and as far as she is concerned, he can go and there will be no more trouble,

she can assure him.

"I'm sorry, mister, you're going to have to leave."

Aiden, sensing his public image being endangered, in his most slippery fashion apologised 'for being hasty' and, under his breath muttered 'don't worry,

I'm not coming back' and stomped off.

"There, I was all set to proclaim to the world that I'm a.........." Roisin started and then she peered round at the still open door and the gathering crowd

kicked up by the argument.

"It's all right, everyone. The show's over." Nikki called out light-heartedly.

No one was up for being spokesman so the crowd hung around for a bit and gradually dispersed as the room went quiet and resumed their normal conversations

about getting their husbands to do the latest home improvement job, they have to keep badgering them as 'men are all the same, you know.'

"Do I have to get at you to do jobs round the house or do you do it to me,, Nikki?" Helen said with eyes twinkling. Then in a more concerned voice she asked

if Roisin was all right.

"Never felt better," Roisin replied having slain her most ancient dragon that had long frightened her, her fear of authority.

Cassie came up to them with the children asking who was the lumbering elephant who had nearly knocked her and the kids over when they were just coming into

the club. She had a very puzzled expression on her face.

"That will be Aiden." Roisin said.

"Hey Cassie, guess what?" asked Nikki with a huge grin on her face." That guy behind the bar actually called us 'ladies'. When I was growing up, out and

proud, little did I think my real destiny in life was to be called a 'lady'. You can't beat the brilliant middle class respectability act Helen did in

front of Aiden, just then" to Helen's grinning mock denial.

Cassie grinned back but added more soberly." Well it's better than being called a 'lezzie' or a 'dyke' bitch when I was at school. I think 'lady' isn't

so bad in comparison even though I'm pissing myself laughing at that one, sorry kids." she lamely tried to backtrack to the equally grinning faces of the

children who delighted in Cassie's periodic failures to stop herself swearing.

Then with eyes shining, Roisin, still dressed in the dance outfit that Aiden had never noticed, offered to get in a tray-full of drinks, at which the children

stuck in their order for universal coke. On the way, one of the mothers said how much her little girl enjoyed the new teacher 'Mrs Connor' and asked if

she was to be the regular teacher. Roisin assured her emphatically that she had enjoyed herself so much wild horses couldn't keep her away.

Then everything in the way she moved proclaimed an 'on top of the world' Roisin as she brought a round of drinks back to those she was closest to, her friends,

children and her lover.

The sun shone brightly through the windows. Sat in a comfy armchair with Mary on her lap and a glass in one hand, Cassie's hand in the other, who was struggling

under Siobhan's growing size and the smiling faces of her closest friends, what could be better? She drank from her glass but to her it was from the sweetness

of life and she had come home to herself.

THE END

I must give credits due to this fanfic as follows.

1. BG and the MB whom I owe so much for the inspiration.

2. The very kind hearted supportive MBers who have been so encouraging on the 'fanfic chat' thread, not least of all Joanna whose own fanfic is doing very

nicely.

3. Hermann Hesse from whom I stole a few lines from his book "steppenwolf" a book about self discovery.

4. The real life dance teacher who would be horrified at having her character stolen to become Cassie and who will not associate the anxious parent bothering

her with questions with this MBer.


End file.
